other of the fellows, to borrow a book of him; who told him; I am loth to lend my books out of my chamber; but if it please thy tutor to come and read upon it in my chamber, he shall as long as he will. It was winter; and some days after, the same fellow sent to Mr. Mason to borrow his bellows; but Mr. Mason said to his pupil; I am loth to lend my bellows out of my chamber; but if thy tutor would come and blow the fire in my chamber, he shall as long as he will.

68. (110.) Nero did cut a youth, as if he would have transformed him into a woman', and called him wife. There was a senator of Rome that said secretly to his friend; It was pity Nero's father had not such a wife.

69. (111.) Galba succeeded Nero, and his age being much despised, there was much licence and confusion in Rome. Whereupon a senator said in full senate, It were better live where nothing is lawful, than where all things are lawful.

† 70. In Flanders by accident a Flemish tiler fell from the top of a house upon a Spaniard, and killed him, though he escaped himself. The next of the blood prosecuted his death with great violence against the tiler. And when he was offered pecuniary recompence, nothing would serve him but lex talionis. Whereupon the judge said to him; That if he did urge that kind of sentence, it must be, that he should go up to the top of the house, and thence fall down upon the tiler.

71. (24.) Queen Elizabeth was dilatory enough in suits, of her own nature; and the lord treasurer Burleigh, to feed her humour, would say to her; Madam, you do well to let suitors stay; for I shall tell you, Bis dat, qui cito dat: If you grant them speedily, they will come again the sooner.

3

72. (49.) They feigned a tale of Sixtus Quintus, that after his death he went to hell; and the porter of hell said to him; You have some reason to offer yourself to this place; but yet I have order not to receive you: you have a place of your own, purgatory; you may go thither. So he went away, and sought purgatory a great while, and could find no such place. Upon that he took heart, and went to heaven, and knocked; and St. Peter asked; Who was there? He said, Sixtus Pope. Whereunto St. Peter said, Why do you knock? you have the

1 Nero loved a beautiful youth, whom he used viciously. R.
2 being a wise man, and willing therein to feed her humour.
3 So R. The original has "faigne."
5 because you were a wicked man. R.

R.

R.

whom they called Size-Ace. But yet, because you were a Pope. R.

keys. Sixtus answered, It is true; but it is so long since they were given, as I doubt the wards of the lock be altered.

73. (50.) Charles King of Swede, a great enemy of the Jesuits, when he took any of their colleges, he would hang the old Jesuits, and put the young to his mines, saying; That since they wrought so hard above ground, he would try how they could work under ground.

74. (51.) In Chancery, one time, when the counsel of the parties set forth the boundaries of the land in question, by the plot; And the counsel of one part said, We lie on this side, my lord; And the counsel of the other part said, We lie on this side: the Lord Chancellor Hatton stood up and said, If you lie on both sides, whom will you have me to believe.

75. (109.) Vespasian and Titus his eldest son were both absent from Rome when the empire was cast upon him.' Domitian his younger son was at Rome, who took upon him the affairs; and being of a turbulent spirit, made many changes, and displaced divers officers and governors of provinces, sending them successors. So when Vespasian came to Rome, and Domitian came into his presence, Vespasian said to him; Son, I looked when you would have sent me a successor.

2

76. (71.) Sir Amice Pawlet, when he saw too much haste made in any matter, was wont to say, Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner.

77. (31.) The deputies of the reformed religion, after the massacre which was 3 upon St. Bartholomew's day, treated with the King and Queen-Mother, and some other of the counsel, for a peace. Both sides were agreed upon the articles. The question was, upon the security of performance. After some particulars propounded and rejected, the Queen-Mother said; Why, is not the word of a King sufficient security? One of the deputies answered; No, by St. Bartholomew, Madam.

78. (12.) When the Archduke did raise his siege from Grave, the then secretary came to queen Elizabeth; and the Queen, having intelligence first 5, said to the secretary, Wot you what? The Archduke is risen from the Grave. He answered, What, without the trumpet of the Archangel? The Queen replied; Yes, without sound of trumpet.

† 79. Francis the first used for his pleasure sometimes to go disguised. So walking one day in the company of the Cardinal of Bourbon near Paris, he met a peasant with a new pair of shoes upon his arm. So he called him to him and said; By our lady, these be good shoes, what did they cost thee? The peasant said; Guess. The King said; I think some five sols. Saith the peasant; You have lyed; but a carolois. What villain,

(saith the Cardinal of Bourbon) thou art dead; it is the King. The peasant replied; The devil take him, of you and me, that knew so much.

80. (217.) There was a conspiracy against the Emperor Claudius by Scribonianus, examined in the senate; where Claudius sat in his chair, and one of his freed servants stood at the back of his chair. In the examination, that freed servant, who had much power with Claudius, very saucily had almost all the words: and amongst other things, he asked in scorn one of the examinates, who was likewise freed servant of Scribonianus ; I pray, sir, if Scribonianus had been Emperor what would you have done? He answered; I would have stood behind his chair and held my peace.

81. (137.) Dionysius the tyrant, after he was deposed, and brought to Corinth, kept a school. Many used to visit him; and amongst others, one, when he came in, opened his mantle and shook his clothes; thinking to give Dionysius a gentle scorn; because it was the manner to do so for them that came in to him while he was tyrant. But Dionysius said to him; I pray thee do so rather when thou goest out, that we may see thou stealest nothing away.

82. (241.) Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus and of Marcellus (whereof the former waited upon him, that he could make no progress; and the latter had many sharp fights with him); that he feared Fabius like a tutor; and Marcellus like an

enemy.

83. (138.) Diogenes, one terrible frosty morning, came into the market-place, and stood naked, quaking, to shew his tolerancy. Many of the people came about him, pitying him. Plato passing by, and knowing he did it to be seen, said to the people, as he went by, If you pity him indeed, leave him alone. 84. (72.) Sackford, Master of the Requests to Queen Eliza

1 tolerance. R.

A Master of Requests. R. (omitting the name.)

beth, had divers times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the Queen in a progress, and had on a new pair of boots. When he came in, the Queen' said to him, Fie sloven, thy new boots stink. Madam, (said he,) it is not my new boots that stink, but it is the stale bills that I have kept so long.

85. (218.) One was saying; That his great grandfather and grandfather and father died at sea. Said another that heard him; And I were as you, I would never come at sea. Why, (saith he,) where did your great grandfather and grandfather and father die? He answered; Where but in their beds? Saith the other; And I were as you, I would never come in bed.

86. (139.) Aristippus was earnest suitor to Dionysius for somewhat, who would give no ear to his suit. Aristippus fell at his feet; Then Dionysius granted it. One that stood by said afterwards to Aristippus; You a philosopher, and to be so base as to throw yourself at the tyrant's feet to get a suit? Aristippus answered; The fault is not mine, but the fault is in Dionysius, that carries his ears in his feet.

† 87. There was a young man in Rome, that was very like Augustus Cæsar. Augustus took knowledge of it, and sent for the man, and asked him; Was your mother never at Rome? He answered; No, sir, but my father was.

† 88. A physician advised his patient, that had sore eyes, that he should abstain from wine. But the patient said, I think rather, sir, from wine and water 2; for I have often marked it in blear eyes, and I have seen water come forth, but never wine.

† 89. When Sir Thomas Moore was Lord Chancellor, he did use, at mass, to sit in the chancel; and his lady in a pew. And because the pew stood out of sight, his gentleman-usher ever after service came to the lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone. So when the Chancellor's place was taken from him, the next time they went to church, Sir Thomas himself came to his lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone.

90. (73.) At an act of the Commencement, the answerer gave for his question; That an aristocracy was better than a monarchy. The replier, who was a dissolute fellow 3, did tax him; That being a private bred man, he would give a question of state. The answerer said; That the replier did much wrong the

The Queen who loved not the smell of new leather. R. 2 So in the original. But I think it should be from water.

3

man. R.

privilege of scholars; who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised. And added; We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice.

91. (219.) There was a dispute, whether great heads or little heads had the better wit? And one said; It must needs be the little. For it is a maxim, Omne majus continet in se minus.

92. (140.) Solon, when he wept for his son's death, and one said to him; Weeping will not help; answered, Alas, therefore I weep, because weeping will not help.

93. (141.) Solon being asked; Whether he had given the Athenians the best laws? answered; Yes, the best of those that they would have received.

94. (142.) One said to Aristippus; It is a strange thing, why should men rather give to the poor, than to philosophers. He answered; Because they think themselves may sooner come to be poor, than to be philosophers.

95. (145.) Alexander used to say of his two friends, Craterus and Hephaestion; That Hephæstion loved Alexander, and Craterus loved the King.

96. (146.) It fell out so, that as Livia went abroad in Rome, there met her naked young men that were sporting in the streets; which Augustus was 2 about severely to punish in them; but Livia spake for them, and said, It was no more to chaste women than so many statua's.

97. (75.) Alonso of Arragon was wont to say, in commendation of age, That age appeared to be best in four things: Old wood best to burn; old wine to drink; old friends to trust; and old authors to read.3

98. (76.) It was said of Augustus, and afterwards the like was said of Septimius Severus, both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good towards their ends; That they should either have never been born or never died.

5

99. (74.) Queen Isabell of Spain used to say; Whosoever hath a good presence and a good fashion, carries letters of recommendation.

100. (143.) Trajan would say of the vain jealousy of princes,

1 For that. R.

4 Isabella,

R.

2 went. R.

3 Melch. II. 1. 20. continual letters. R.