heart. If the spirit of the world, pride, carelessness respecting the soul, and neglect of Christ, 'be not hateful to God and destructive to men, the gospel (with reverence I speak it) is an imposition. Do you abhor that thought as blasphemy? Abhor as much a fawning upon Christ 'from year to year in your closet, calling him 'there your Lord and God, and then coming out to consult the world, how far they will allow you to obey his plain commands, without saying you are a Methodist. Cease rather to profess any allegiance to Christ, than treat him, under professions of duty, with such contempt. "would," saith he to the church of Laodicea, "thou wert cold or hot; so then because thou "art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, "I will spew thee out of my mouth." (Page 85.)

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I should as easily be convinced that there was no Holy Ghost, as that he was not present with my soul when I read this passage, and the whole of what Mr. Venn has written upon the subject. It came to my heart with such evidence, conviction, and demonstration, that it lifted me up above the world, and produced that victory which faith alone can give, and that liberty which uniformly attends the presence of the Spirit of the Lord. I became at once ashamed of my base ingratitude and foolish fears, and was filled with such consolation and rejoicing, even in the prospect of sa

crificing my character, and running the risk of infamy and contempt, as made me entirely satisfied on that head; and, some few seasons of unbelief excepted, I have never since been much troubled about being called an Enthusiast or a Methodist.

But while I was thus delivered from the dread of unmerited reproaches, I continued as much as ever afraid of real enthusiasm; nay, I became continually more and more averse to every thing which can justly bear that name: so that the nearer I verged to what I had ignorantly supposed to be enthusiastical, the more apprehensive I was, lest my earnestness in such interesting enquiries, and the warmth of my natural spirit thus occasionally increased, should put me off my guard, and betray me into delusions and mistakes. From this danger I could however obtain no security, but by keeping close to the study of the word of God; and by being earnest and particular in praying to be preserved from error, and to be enabled to distinguish between the pure revelations of the Holy Spirit contained in Scripture, and the inventions of men, the imaginations of my own heart, or the delusions of the spirit of lies.

The Doctrine of a Trinity of coequal persons in the Unity of the Godhead had been hitherto no part of my creed. creed. I had long been accustomed to despise this great mystery of godliness. I had first quarrelled with the articles of the established

Church about this doctrine; I had been very decided and open in my declarations against it; and my unhumbled reason still retained many objections to it. But about June, 1777, I began to be troubled with doubts about my own sentiments, and to suspect the truth of Dr. Clarke's hypothesis. I had just read Mr. Lindsey's Apology and Sequel. Before I saw these tracts, I had even ridiculed those who thought of confuting him on the orthodox scheme, and was not without thoughts of maintaining Dr. Clarke's system against him. But when I understood that he claimed Dr. Clarke as a Socinian, I was extremely surprised, and in consequence, was led again to a most serious and anxious consideration of the subject. Yet the more I studied, the more I was dissatisfied. Many things now first occurred to me as strong objections against my own sentiments; and being thus perplexed, and unable to form a scheme for myself, I easily perceived that I was not qualified to dispute with another person. My pride and my convictions struggled hard for the victory: I was very unwilling to become a Trinitarian in the strict sense of the word, though in my own sense I had for some time pretended to be one; and yet the more I considered it the more I was dissatisfied with all other systems. My esteem for Mr.was also now very much increased; and though I had hitherto concealed this part of my sentiments from him, yet

I knew his to be very different. I was not indeed willing to be taught by him in other matters: yet in this respect, finding his opinion the same which in all former ages of the Church had been accounted orthodox, while that which I held had always been branded as heretical; my fears of a mistake were thus exceedingly increased. In this perplexity I applied to the Lord, and frequently besought him to lead me to a settled conclusion what was the truth in this important subject. After much meditation, together with a careful examination of all the Scriptures which I then understood to relate to it, accompanied with earnest prayer for divine teaching, I was at length constrained to renounce, as utterly indefensible, all my former sentiments, and to accede to that doctrine which I had so long despised. I saw, and I could no longer help seeing, that the offices and works attributed in Scripture to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, are such as none but the infinite God could perform: that it is a contradiction to believe the real, and consequently infinite, satisfaction to divine justice made by the death of Christ, without believing him to be very God of very God: nor could the Holy Ghost give spiritual life, and dwell in the hearts of all believers at the same time, to adapt his work of convincing, enlightening, teaching, strengthening, sanctifying, and comforting, to the several cases of every individual, were he not the omniscient, omnipresent,

infinite God. Being likewise certain, from reason as well as from Scripture, that there is not, and cannot be, more Gods than one; I was driven from my reasonings, and constrained to submit my understanding to divine revelation; and, allowing that the incomprehensible God alone can fully know the unsearchable mysteries of his own divine nature, and the manner of his own existence, to adopt the doctrine of a "Trinity in Unity,' among other reasons of still greater moment, in order to preserve consistency in my own scheme. It was however, a considerable time before I was disentangled from my embarrassments on this subject.

Hitherto my prejudices against Mr. Hervey, as a writer upon doctrinal subjects, had been very strong. I thought him a very pious man, and I had read with pleasure some parts of his Meditations; yet looking on him as an enthusiast, I had no curiosity to see any other of his writings. But about July, 1777, I providentially met with his Theron and Aspasio; and, opening the book, I was much pleased with the first passage on which I cast my eye. This engaged me to read the whole with uncommon attention: nor did I, in twice perusing it, meet with any thing contrary to my own sentiments, without immediately beseeching God to guide me to the truth. I trust the Lord heard and answered these prayers;