LETTER FROM A MINISTER.

Dear Brother,-Peace and love be with you. You will be ready to think I have quite forgotten you, but I can assure you that I have not. Yours I received, and I read it with pleasure and profit, and I was glad to find you have met with a few crumbs. How prizable is a little help when greatly needed! Our dear Lord knows how to time all our mercies. He knows how to bring down and to raise up, to empty and to fill, to wound and to heal. Bless his dear name, he has done all things well. Whatever our carnal hearts may think or say, however they may fret and fume, a covenant God never can err; and how sweet it is when we can see and feel that it is for ourselves, when we can look back and see the way he has led us thus far in the wilderness. Notwithstanding all our fits of unbelief, stubbornness, pride, rebellion, and wretchedness of every description, yet, bless his dear name, not one good thing of all that ever he promised has failed. Ah, my dear friend, when the dear Lord leads me to remember all the way he has led me in this vale of tears for nearly forty years, since he opened my blind eyes, I am astonished at his wonderful goodness, mercy, and grace, that he has borne with such a wretch, provided for such a wretch, helped, saved, delivered, and upheld me to the present moment. I can say with pleasure at such times, “Having obtained help of God, I continue unto this day;" and I wonder how it is that I can ever distrust God again, for either body or soul, time or eternity. It is then that I can sing and say, "The Lord has done great things for me, whereof I am glad." It is then that I can say, "This God is my God, my Father, and I will exalt him." It is then that I can put the crown upon his blessed head, and say with solemn pleasure and delight, "Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen and amen." But if you want to know how I go on when the dear Lord leaves off communing with me, I can assure you that there is not such a poor, stupid, carnal, helpless, foolish, unbelieving, proud, forgetful, peevish, discontented, wandering, starting aside wretch to be found in heaven, earth, or hell; and I wonder in my very heart and soul how it is that an infinite God, full of majesty and glory, can let me live upon earth. I wonder how it can be that his mighty arm of power does not crush me down into the lowest hell; for it does appear to me at times that my carnal nature is the masterpiece of hell; nay, I am confident it is "deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked," and none but God can ever search it to the bottom. I vainly imagined, years ago, that I had seen the worst of it; but alas! alas! I had but the sample, and a very small sample indeed. It beggars either the pen or tongue to describe it; it is too base even to hint at. I cannot find a name bad enough for myself. If you want to know what is my language under such soul-hateful things, I answer, I truly cry with Job, "I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls; my skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat; my harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep ;" and with David I lament and cry, "My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness; I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long; for my loins are filled with a loathsome disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble and sore broken. I have roared because of the disquietness of my heart. Lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee." not a stranger to the prophet Isaiah's language; "We look for light, but behold obscurity; for brightness, but we walk in darkness; we

I am

grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes; we stumble at noon-day as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men; we roar all like bears, and mourn sore like doves; we look for judgment, but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us." And Jeremiah's lamentation suits me well; "I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day. He bath hedged me about that I cannot get out; he hath made my chain heavy." O my poor soul heaves with grief, and roars out, "Why dost thou cast me off? why go I mourning because of the enemy? O send out thy light and thy truth, let them lead me, let them bring me unto thy holy hill and to thy tabernacle, then will I go unto the altar of God, unto God my exceeding joy. Yea, upon the harp will I praise thee, O God, my God." And here I remain till the set time to favour Zion is come. assure you that I must have something more than offered grace, dutyfaith, and ought to do, could do, or might do, to bring my soul out of these snares, holes, and prison-houses that I am held in, shut up, and cannot come forth. I try to look back upon past mercies, but cannot bring to remembrance one thing that brings comfort and joy. I try to read the word of God to find some comfort there, but it is a sealed book; not one promise lays hold of me, and then you may be sure that I cannot lay hold of it. I try to pour out my heart before God, but it is as hard as the nether millstone. I try to keep down those devils which rise up in my heart, but

"The more I strive against their power,

I sin and stumble but the more."

I

I try to give it all up as a lost matter, but cannot; so that, my dear friend, I can neither go backward nor forward, sink nor swim, run nor sit still, groan nor sing. I sometimes look and wonder what judgment is coming upon me, for at these times I cannot think it possible that God can bear with me, and am so dreadfully left at times to an unfeeling heart, that I think, surely I must be nothing but a hardened apostate, given up of God, to be made manifest to the church and the world that I am a Judas, and that it will be made manifest in my destruction for ever and ever. So you see, my dear friend, "boasting is excluded" from Johu, except it is in a crucified Jesus. O how glorious he appears after these storms, when he comes skipping over all the mountains, and his lovely voice is heard in the poor devil-dragged soul, “Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon; look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions dens, from the mountains of leopards." O the wondrous power of his voice! every devil gives way, and every ravenous beast of prey flies into his den like lightning, and the poor distracted soul, like "a giant refreshed with new wine," exclaims, "Though an host should encamp against me, yet will I not fear;" for in the name of the Lord I can run through a troop. Ah, my friend, what a wonderful difference it makes when the Lord is felt and proved to be our God, our strength, and the lifter up of our head; he can soon make crooked things straight, and rough places plain; he can soon turn night into day, groans into songs, prisons into palaces, weakness into strength, curses into blessings. O, one look of his smiling countenance as our covenant God and Father, owning such wretches as his children, saying, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love, and with loving-kindness have I drawn thee," sets all to rights in a moment, puts us at the feet of a dear Redeemer, clothed and in our right mind, and

makes us wonder and adore, and exclaim, "Lord, it is good to be here." How many times I have been for building tabernacles and abiding here; but his blessed Majesty knew it would not be for my good and his glory, for it is " through much tribulation that we must enter into the kingdom of God."

Well, my dear friend, cheer up, never fear, though the road is rough and thorny, and devils aim our overthrow, they never will prevail, for our Jesus has conquered them all, and hear his blessed words; "In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” And again, “Because I live ye shall live also.” And again, "Fear not, little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." "Upon this rock will I build my church, and the gates of hell shall never prevail against it." As regards my preaching, it is very often a complete mystery however that I do keep hobbling on from week to week. I often fear I am got to the end, and what that will be at those times I know not. Unbelief never speaks well of God; but it does appear the Lord is with me a poor worm. Next ordinance day we have twelve or more coming to follow their Lord in the ordinance of baptism. Most of them have given in their experience, and it was quite rejoicing to hear it. Most of them are seals to my poor labours; my soul melted to hear them, and wondered at the goodness, power, and glory of God in owning such a poor crawling worm as his mouth. We are truly living in peace and harmony as a church, and our congregation is quite crowded. Bless the Lord, for it is all his doing.

I hope is quite well, and strong and lively in the things of God and truth. I received S's kind letters on Lord's day morning last, and I thank them for them. Kind love to all friends. I hope the Lord will be with you, and guide you in all things, that you may have his approbation, and live very near him who is "the chief among ten thousand, and the altogether lovely."

That the God of all grace may be with you is the prayer of your unworthy brother. Trowbridge.

SPIRITUAL CORRESPONDENCE.

J. W.

TO THE EDITORS OF THE GOSPEL STANDARD. Messrs. Editors,-Will you permit me, through the medium of our magazine, to request your much respected friend, Mr. W. Gadsby, to give a few defensive remarks on the 2nd verse of the 49th hymn of his selection::

"The law provokes men oft to ill,

And churlish hearts makes harder still."

It has been to some somewhat a stumbling block; and those gentlemen so cautious about the law as the rule of the Christian's conduct, not only kindle the fire, but make it a great flame. I do hope Mr. G. will give a few remarks upon it, as I trust it will be beneficial to the Lord's family. For my own part, I am decided as to its veracity, from experience, and positive facts deducible from the sacred pages. Norwich.

J. F.

Dear Brethren in the Lord,—Knowing that the Lord's dear family are but a poor, silly, simple set, easily taken in by wolves in sheep's clothing, I think it right to warn them of a Selection of Hymns lately

advertised on the wrapper of Zion's Trumpet. I was led to suppose, from the title, it would just suit my case, as it professes to correspond with the manifold experience, &c. of the broken-hearted, hell-opposed, &c. children of God. Surely the above title might well raise the expectations of a poor tempest-tossed soul, and make him eager to obtain the publication. So it was with me; but I soon found it to be any thing but what it professed to be, and only fitted for the use of those whose harps have never been bung on the willows, but who are always believing, and always rejoicing; and who look down on the Lord's Jobs, and Asaphs, and Hemans with contempt and disdain. As for myself, I am a poor fool, slow of heart to believe, and can seldom sing a song of praise I want the power, and life, and unction of the blessed Spirit, and this is not to be found in these hymns. I am often in the dark, wretched and miserable, and when I meet with the experience of any of the Lord's family that corresponds with mine, it gives me a lift by the way. May the Lord bless you and make you a blessing. Near Huddersfield.

R. E.

Messrs. Editors,-You are constantly calling out for men to speak of that experience and wisdom which cometh down from above. 1 will now, in as brief and plain a manner as I can, give you a short account of what God has done for my soul. If I am deluded, my state is awful.

I was born of poor parents, though not so poor but they might have given me an education; of which I had very little, being only just able to read, and to write my own name. When I was about eight years of age, I was sent out into the field to a farmer's place. Here I spent my time chiefly in the field, and heard but little else than cursing and swearing from week to week and from year to year. I continued in this situation nearly six years. Although the master was a farmer, and a gentleman of considerable property, yet I never remember seeing a Bible or what is called a good book in the house excepting once. The mistress had got the Bible upon the table, and the master cursed the book, and told her to take it away. This was in a land of Bibles, and in what is called a Christian country!

When about the age of fourteen, I left this situation, and was put an apprentice. Here I saw a mighty outward change. The master and mistress were professed dissenters, and I was ordered to go to the meeting every Lord's day. This I did not like, but go I must with others of the family. I have since found that the parson was dead enough, and that he had never been raised from the grave of fallen nature. But at that time I, one of the hearers, was blinder than the priest. A short time after this, I neglected to attend, for which I was called to an account by the master. I told him I was brought up to the church, and if he would permit me I would attend there, which he granted. I now entered upon a new line of conduct; music and singing became my chief delight. I was led into company, as far as my circumstances would allow, and I was looked upon as a lively, clever young man. About this time I began to read a little, and to go to school in the evenings. The old man who kept the school was considered by some to be à learned man, although in a humble station in life, and particularly as an astronomer and mathematician, but at the same time a confirmed Infidel. He called the blessed book of God a book of priest craft. He lent me Tom Paine's Age of Reason, and I drank down this damnable doctrine with all greediness, it so suited my fallen nature. I began now to shun almost all company, and to

spend the Lord's day in a room by myself in silent solitude. I well remember, one Lord's day, while sitting in my room reading Ferguson's Astronomy, he referred to a note in Mr. Hervey's Contemplations on the Starry Heavens. I went and fetched it out of the book case, and it was upon Isaiah xl. 17; "All nations before him are as nothing; and they are counted to him less than nothing, and vanity.” I then read the 15th verse; "The nations (before him) are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance; behold, he taketh up the isles as a very little thing." These words came to my mind with such power that I never can describe. A thought struck me, if “all nations before him are as nothing," what must a poor sinful worm like me be? Then such thoughts as these would arise in my mind; But is this the word of God, or only priestcraft? I soon began to conclude that if this was the word of God, I was lost for ever; there was no hope. A few days after this, I took up a Testament, and I opened to this passage; "What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?" Who is this man, or what is he, that hath the control over the mighty ocean? And every part of God's word which I read, condemned me as a lost sinner; for I began to have faith to believe that the Bible was the word of God, and my old schoolmaster began to be of less esteem with me. Again thoughts would arise like these; What would become of all the young men and women in the village? for if this was the word of God, there is not one in the place who will be saved; and I even wished 1 had been born in a land where there were no Bibles. I thought of going to some country where all the people were ignorant; "But then," said a voice within, "you have the Bible, and there is no excuse for you." I now began to look at every one that went to a meeting, thinking they looked like angels; as for me, I felt as miserable as ever mortal could be; aud whenever I could find an opportunity, I sat in silent solitude like a condemned criminal in the sight of a holy God. And although I cannot say that I had any part of the ten commandments contained in the 20th chapter of Exodus brought home to my soul, I had the sentence of condemnation in my conscience; and I could not get rid of it, so that I could scarcely eat, drink, or sleep. I well remember the first time that I fell down on my knees and began to cry to God to have mercy on me. I now saw as clear as the noon-day, that living and dying in the state I then was, if the word of God was true, I was lost for ever. I now began to work for life by reading and praying in silence, and walking where no mortal eye could see me. Though it may seem strange, I have many a time gone to a spring of water, washed my hands and face, and looked up towards the skies, and made many a resolution to God that I would sin no more, if he would forgive me; but as often as I made these resolutions I broke them. I asked a person, he being one who made a profession of religion, what I must do to be saved from the wrath to come; but he knew nothing of my state, nor could he give me any comfort or instruction. At this time I had heard but very few sermons in a chapel of any kind. I was as ignorant of the plan of salvation as the brute creation. At length, after much conflict in my mind, I went to hear the Methodists. I knew very little of what they said, only I thought them to be a happy people; the parsons looked so grave and holy, and the women looked so demure; surely, thought I, these people must be in the way to heaven; but there was no consolation for me. After this I went to hear a man preach at Nottingham, but what he was I could not tell. He preached from this text; "No man can come unto me except the