I. Round the corner pell-mell they went to the place where the road dives under the railway track, and there they stopped. A man who poisons the air by puffing tobacco smoke into it is more contemptible than he who slaps our faces; for against the smoker we have no redress. II. Round the corner pell-mell they went to where the road dives under the railway track, and stopped. A man who poisons the air by puffing tobacco smoke into it is more contemptible than the man who slaps our faces, because we have no redress. A hasty reader of the last sentence as originally written might suppose that our faces are slapped "because we have no redress." Redundant Words. Obscurity is sometimes caused by the presence of unnecessary words. I. Sofia is reported to have thirty mosques and ten churches, hot baths, and woollen manufactures. II. Sofia is reported to have thirty mosques and ten churches, with hot baths and manufactures of woollens. Unless the mosques and churches in Sofia are provided with hot baths and woollen manufactures, "with" is misleading. Other examples are I. When he thought of Lucie, he kept his eyes and his ears open, (or, both eyes and ears open.) It is unreasonable, I think, to consider education inconsistent with the maintenance of individuality. Even if it were, we should, I think, do better to extend our opportunities for education and let individuality go. II. When he thought of Lucie he kept both his eyes and his ears open. In regard to education I think that it is unreasonable to consider it as inconsistent with the maintenance of individuality; even if it is so, I think that it would be better for us to extend our advantages for education and let individuality go. For one sentence in which the presence of unnecessary words makes the meaning obscure, there are a hundred in which the meaning is clear if the reader has the patience to force his way through the verbiage that encumbers it. In requiring so much effort to understand them, such sentences sin against clearness; but they also sin, and more seriously, against force. They will, therefore, be considered in the next chapter. SECTION IV. CLEARNESS AS AFFECTED BY ORDER. Position of Words. — Obscurity is sometimes caused by the misplacing of a word. I. Charles Carroll of Carrollton was the richest of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and was the last survivor. II. Charles Carroll of Carrollton was the richest and the last survivor of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. In this sentence as originally written, "richest " belongs with "survivor" in point of grammar, but not in point of sense. I. Sights and sounds which should be infinitely suggestive, make sometimes not (or, fail sometimes to make) the slightest impression on our minds. II. Sights and sounds which should be infinitely suggestive sometimes do not make the slightest impression on our minds. A reader of this sentence as originally written might be uncertain whether "sometimes" qualifies the expression before it or that after it. Words so placed are said to be in a "squinting construction;" that is, they look two ways. I. The many readers of Fannie Kemble's Records will be interested by the announcement that she has written a novel. II. The many readers of her Records will be interested by the announcement that Fannie Kemble has written a novel. How is a reader of this sentence as originally written to know at once that "her Records are Fannie Kemble's? As a rule, clearness demands that a pronoun should follow, not precede, the noun which it represents. Other examples are I. The remaining six years of Filelfo's life were years of rapid decline. He made them disagreeable for every one. II. The remaining six years of his life were years of rapid decline. Filelfo made them disagreeable for every one. If a noun and the pronoun which represents it are separated by only one or two words, the pronoun may come first without causing serious obscurity: e. g., "In his childhood Daniel Webster was lazy." There are cases in which from the point of view of force or of ease this order is the better. Position of Phrases and Clauses. — Obscurity is sometimes caused by the misplacing of a phrase or a clause. I. A lady with a Roman nose sat threading a needle. All yesterday Angelo had run up and down on his naked feet to look for chestnuts. The Czar himself, in full uniform, kisses the cadets in the military schools. These shoes had not been two minutes on my feet before Larry, in those which I had worn at dinner, was carrying a tray of negus across the room. In some of these works, a protest in the name of peace is raised against this discussion. II. A lady sat threading a needle with a Roman nose. All yesterday Angelo had run up and down to look for chestnuts on his naked feet. In the military schools the Czar himself kisses the cadets, in full uniform. These shoes had not been two minutes on my feet before Larry was carrying a tray of negus across the room in those which I had worn at dinner. In some of these works a protest is raised against this discussion in the name of peace. In "Bonaventure " he has added a set of beautiful pictures in a new but kindred field to his creole sketches. I. Accompanied by the best wishes of the family, Dr. Primrose now started with the colt for the fair. We seem almost to see 1 before us this monster of large frame and bulk, fierce expression, and harsh voice. One evening, John closed with a sigh "Felix Holt," which he had been reading aloud. I took the opportunity to suggest in an undertone that the motion be adopted. It was at this election that, to the great loss of subsequent historians, Horace Walpole, to whom we have hitherto been indebted for our fullest accounts of parliamentary proceedings, gave up his seat. To picture simple human nature in simple every-day words was Wordsworth's theory. His observations in any other branch of science would have been accepted by the scientific world with implicit confidence. Amid storms of applause, Mr. Adams was escorted to the chair by Rhett and Williams, both Southerners. Behind his back, Connor was making vehement signs of disgust at his want of consideration. For two years, my uncle and I had been planning a visit to Trout Pond. II. Dr. Primrose now started for the fair accompanied by the best wishes of the family and the colt. Of large frame and bulk, fierce expression and harsh voice, we seem to almost see1 before us this monster. One evening John closed "Felix Holt" which he had been reading aloud with a sigh. I took the opportunity, in an undertone, to suggest that the motion be adopted. It was at this election that Horace Walpole, to whom we have hitherto been indebted for our fullest accounts of parliamentary proceedings, to the great loss of subsequent historians, gave up his seat. To picture simple, natural human nature was Wordsworth's theory in simple every day words. His observations in any other branch of science would have been accepted with implicit confidence in the scientific world. Mr. Adams was escorted to the chair amid storms of applause by Rhett and Williams, both Southerners. Connor was making vehement signs of disgust at him for his want of consideration behind his back. My uncle and I had been planning on visiting Trout Pond for two years. 1 See page 136. |