I. For long hours Anne pondered that look and the glance of intelligence which Miss Thorneley gave her brother. On pretence of buying a gaudy neckerchief, he called first at the village shop kept by Mrs. Bawtrey, which Jessie had pointed out to him. By Lance's particular wish, it was nearly finished before Ursula saw it. On these fine days in May, it is pleasant to stand, like Faust, at a church-door and listen to the roll of an organ. When he makes out his list of elective courses, he ought to consider prescribed studies as important work which is to be done. Wanted, a youth that can drive, to look after a horse. I spoke rarely and asked few questions, for she seldom paused. II. Anne pondered over1 that look and the comprehending glance Miss Thorneley gave her brother for long hours. He called first at the village shop kept by Mrs. Bawtrey, which Jessie had pointed out to him, on pretence of buying a gaudy neck-kerchief. It was nearly finished before Ursula saw it, by Lance's particular wish. It is pleasant to listen at a church-door, like Faust, and hear the roll of an organ from the doorsteps on these fine days in May. He ought to consider prescribed studies as important work which is to be done, when he makes out his list of electives. Wanted, a youth, to look after a horse, that can drive. I spoke rarely, for she seldom paused, and I asked few questions. If, as seems probable, the "for" clause in the last sentence gives a reason why "I asked few questions" as well as why "I spoke rarely," it should be placed at the end of the sentence. I. She looked most severely at the girl as she finished her work. II. She looked at the girl as she finished her work most severely. The writer of the last sentence means to say that "she looked at the girl most severely," not that "she finished her work most severely." 1 See page 151. I. Darey said that he had been spoiled as a child, having been brought up to believe that there was nothing which he could not get either by his rank or by his money. II. Darcy said that he had been raised, and spoiled as a child, to believe that there was nothing which he could not get, either by his rank, or his money. In this sentence as originally written, "spoiled as a child " is so placed as to obscure the meaning. We may properly speak of "raising" wheat for the market, but not of raising persons to believe. In the CHOICE, in the NUMBER, and in the ORDER of words in a sentence, aim at CLEARNESS. Chapter IV. FORCE SECTION I. IMPORTANCE OF FORCE A WRITER Who wishes not only to be understood by his readers, but also to produce an impression upon them, will not content himself with observing the rules of good use, or with making his meaning clear. He will (1) choose the word that drives home his meaning, will (2) omit every clause, word, or syllable that does not help to communicate his meaning, and will (3) so frame every sentence as to throw the emphasis upon what is really emphatic and thus to fix attention upon the main point. Sometimes his purpose may be furthered by a word that suggests an idea rather than by one that states it with precision, by a compact expression rather than by one that develops the thought at length, or by a form of sentence that is a little unusual rather than by one that is more readily understood because familiar, but that is on that very account less impressive. These things ordinary writers may do, in order to give force to their work; but they have no right to take liberties with the language, as some men of genius have done, Pope, Carlyle, and Browning, for example. A young writer should never forget that his first duty is to follow good use, and his second to be clear; and he should never sacrifice either correctness or clearness to force of expression. To an intelligent reader nothing is more offensive than feeble or obscure thought masquerading in strong language, — the ass in the lion's skin. On the other hand, it is true that the most forcible word, though not the most exact, may be the clearest, because it stimulates the attention of the reader and thus enables him to get at the meaning at once. Even a word which taken by itself is less clear than another may in its context be clearer. When, as often happens, two sentences are equally clear, but one is more forcible than the other, either because the words used are more specific, or because they are fewer, or because they are arranged in a more effective order, — a writer who wishes to create or to keep up an interest in what he says will choose the more forcible form of expression. This rule is, however, not free from exceptions; and it must sometimes give way to considerations (to be discussed later) connected with the structure of the paragraph of which the sentence forms a part. SECTION II. FORCE AS AFFECTED BY CHOICE OF WORDS We have seen that, as a rule, a writer who wishes to be forcible will prefer short to long words, specific and concrete words to general and abstract ones, words that flash an idea on the mind to those that communicate it slowly.1 He will also be careful to connect the several parts of each sentence in such a manner as to make that which is subordinate in thought subordinate in form, and that which is prominent in thought prominent in form. One means of attaining this end is through a wise choice. of words, and especially of those that serve as connectives. - Weak Use of And. "And" is frequently, and other conjunctions are sometimes, so used as to weaken a sen tence. 1 See pages 174-196. I. Wishing Daniel to become a minister, his father sent him to an academy. II. His father felt that he would like for Daniel to become a minister and sent him to an academy. The writer of the sentence under II., by making the two clauses co-ordinate, obscures the real relation between them. The offence against clearness is, however, much less serious than that against force. The main fact of the sentence is that Daniel's father "sent him to an academy." In order to emphasize this fact, prominence must be given to the clause in which it is mentioned. I. While taking a walk late yesterday afternoon, I felt, for some reason, extremely low-spirited. II. I took a walk late yesterday afternoon and felt for some reason extremely low-spirited. In this sentence as originally written, "and" connects "I took a walk" with "I felt low-spirited," as if the two facts were of equal importance. The first fact is really subordinate to the second. Other examples are I. Having a couple of leisure hours the other day, I devoted them to Keats's Eve of St. Agnes." Turning her back upon him, she began a conversation with Mark Roberts. Harnessing his horse with his own hands, he took me through the town and township, and introduced me to the prominent Republicans. II. The other day I had a couple of hours' leisure and devoted them to Keats's "Eve of St. Agnes." She had turned her back upon him, and began a conversation with Mark Roberts. He harnessed his horse with his own hands and then took me through the town and township introducing me to the prominent Republicans. |