CHAPTER III CLEARNESS I. IMPORTANCE OF CLEARNESS IF a writer wishes his readers to understand what he says, he should make his sentences mean to them what they mean to him. He should constantly bear in mind that, important as it is for him to have clear ideas and to express them in language that is clear to himself, it is no less important to express them in language that is clear to others. In these days, when readers are so many and leisure is so rare, he should make his meaning so plain that it can be caught at once. He should remember that few persons have either time or inclination to become acquainted with unfamiliar words, to supply omissions, to remove obscurities, or to unravel tangled thoughts. If he would make what he writes as clear as is possible. under the restrictions imposed by the nature of language, he should (1) choose words that express his meaning exactly, (2) use as many words as are needed to convey his meaning but not one word that does not help to convey it, and (3) arrange words, phrases, and clauses in the order in which they may be readily understood. are particularly bold, but anybody might think so if he believed a story told by one of them. are particularly bold, but one might imagine so from a story told me by one of its scholars. "Them" is better than "its scholars"; for "them refers to a word that is close by, whereas "its" refers to one that is far I away. After Orlando had wandered several days, carving on the trees love-messages to the daughter of the banished duke, he was obliged to leave Adam and go in search of help; for the old man had become very feeble. II After he had wandered several days, carving love-messages or the trees, to the daughter of the banished duke, Adam became so feeble that Orlando was obliged to leave him and go in search of help. The sentence under II would lead a reader who was not familiar with "As You Like It" to suppose that the man who carved love-messages on the trees was Adam, not Orlando. This obscurity results partly from the failure to keep one point of view.1 I The majority [or Most] of the old families have sunk into genteel poverty, but a few still cling to their wide-fronted houses. The heart of Orlando must have throbbed with joy at his companion's generosity in offering him his purse and telling him to use it to supply his wants. II A few old families still cling to their wide-fronted homes, 2 although the majority of them have sunk into genteel poverty. The heart of Orlando must have throbbed with joy at the generous offer of his companion to take his purse and use it to supply his wants. In each of the sentences under II, the meaning is rendered obscure by the use of an ambiguous pronoun. In the sentence under II, "its" and "it" refer grammatically to the title of Wordsworth's poem, but really to the fountain itself. I I was so much frightened by my novel-reading propensities that I resolved [or Frightened by my novel-reading propensities, I resolved] not to look into a novel for a year. II I was frightened at my novelreading propensities, and resolved not to look into one for a year. The author of the sentence under II tried to make the represent a part of a word, an offence 66 pronoun one I Portia, by showing that the bond does not say that the Jew may take a drop of blood with the pound of flesh, raises a difficulty which Shylock is unable to overcome. II Portia shows that the bond does not say he can 1 take a drop of blood with it, and the Jew is unable to get around it. In the sentence under II, the first "it" refers apparently to "bond," but really to the "pound of flesh spoken of in a preceding sentence; the second "it" stands for a word that is not expressed anywhere. I Their presence makes all the deeper [or deepens] the solitude of him who vainly looks into their faces for sympathy. II Their presence makes his solitude all the deeper who looks in vain into their faces for sympathy. In the sentence under II, "who" has no grammatical antecedent; the real antecedent is hidden in "his," -an archaism allowable in verse, but to be avoided in prose. 1 See pages 154-157. I When the ceremonies were over, General Harrison and Governor Hovey were loudly cheered, -a demonstration which was renewed as they left the Opera House. II After the ceremonies were over, General Harrison and Governor Hovey were loudly cheered, which was renewed as they left the Opera House. In the sentence under II, "which" refers to a noun implied in "were loudly cheered"; the insertion of the words "a demonstration" makes the meaning much clearer. A relative pronoun should point immediately and unmistakably to its antecedent. When the antecedent consists of several words, clearness may require that it should be followed by a word or a short phrase in which the meaning of what precedes is summed up; when the antecedent is so far off as to be obscure, it should be repeated. I The New York "Daily," in an article of pretended news which has been telegraphed over the country as true, says that the collector was "surprised." II The New York "Daily" in an article of pretended news, which has been telegraphed over the country as such, states1 that the collector was "surprised." A reader of the sentence under II might at first glance believe that "such" stands for "pretended news." In the amended version, the difficulty is removed by the substitution of "true" for "such." I He does not love Cecilie, does not even hate Major Lovers; but he feels called upon to rescue the former, and can do this only by killing the latter. A recompense in money was refused by old Jopson and his cherry-cheeked daughter; a kiss paid the latter, and a hearty shake of the hand the former. II He does not love Cecilie, does not even hate Major Lovers, but he feels called upon to rescue the one, and this can only be done by killing the other. A recompense in money was refused by old Jopson and his cherry-cheeked daughter; a kiss paid the one, and a hearty shake of the hand the other. 1 See page 94. Some grammarians hold that, in a sentence in which "the one and "the other occur, "the one refers to the person or the thing named first, "the other" to the person or the thing named last; others hold the opposite opinion. This difference in doctrine leads to a corresponding difference in practice, as exemplified in the sentences under II. In consequence of this difference, a reader may be uncertain which of two persons is meant by "the one" and which by "the other." Since usage is divided, the safe course for a writer is to avoid the use of "the one and "the other" in any case in which he means to designate a definite one (in contradistinction from the other) of the two persons or things spoken of. In such a case, "the former" and "the latter cannot mislead anybody, and are therefore preferable. Sometimes it may be better not to use any pronoun, but to repeat the noun, as Macaulay, a writer distinguished for clearness, habitually does. Obscure Nouns, Prepositions, etc. - Obscurity is sometimes caused by the misuse of a noun or some other part of speech. I This plant bears many common names, among them " "sago palm"; but this is not the plant that produces the useful article called sago. II This plant bears many common names, among them " "sago palm" but it is not this plant that produces that useful article. The fault of trying to make "that useful article" stand for "sago" is akin to one already noticed.1 I The black hill with the fire at its base, the silence broken only by the crackling of the flames, and, over all, the sky flushed with the sunset, made an impressive scene. II The black hill with the fire at its base, the silence, broken only by the crackling of the flames, and above all the sky, flushed with the sunset - made an impressive scene. 1 See the example beginning "The Fountain," on page 432. |