PARENTAL DUTIES.

281

ister to them the counsels of experience; and, in a word, to consider them as a trust from God, which they ought to manage with incessant vigilance.

A parent who neglects his duty to his offspring, ought not to be surprised if they fail in their duty to him, and has no right to complain either to God or man.

As another incentive to parental fidelity, it may be stated that many of the evils and miseries of society would vanish before a right performance of parental duties.

610. (1.) Parents must have a correct view of the nature and design of the domestic constitution, and must keep it ever before their mind, that its great design is to form well the character of the children; to assist the child, as a mortal, to go with honor and comfort through this life, and as an immortal, to reach life everlasting.

(2.) Parents should realize the fact, that on them it depends, in a great measure, what their children are to be— miserable or happy in themselves—a comfort, or a curse, to their connections; an ornament or a deformity to society, a fiend, or a seraph in eternity.

(3.) Parents should earnestly seek after the possession of all possible qualifications for their office. These qualifications are the following: personal religion; the entire government of temper; a habit of self-control; a meekness not to be disturbed by the greatest provocation; a patience not to be wearied by long continued opposition; a habit of discrimination with regard to conduct and its motives, and also with regard to the dispositions of children, and the mode of treatment they require; a kindness of manner, rendering them agreeable to their children; prudence and good sense; firmness, in denying improper requests, or administering suitable correction; varied information and extensive knowledge, qualifying them to direct the studies, to answer the inquiries, to correct the mistakes, to assist the pursuits, and, in short, to superintend the general instruction of their families; unvarying and inflexible consistency of excellence.

(4.) Parents should make religion the chief desire and the highest object of pursuit, as a possession for their children.

Various Branches of Parental Duty.

611. (a.) Some relate more directly to the present life, and the formation of the character generally.

612. (1.) MAINTENANCE is, of course, a claim which every child justly possesses upon his parents, till he is of a sufficient age to be able to provide for himself. The wants of children make it necessary that some person maintain them and as no one has a right to burden others by his act, it follows that the parents are bound to undertake this charge themselves.

Hence we learn the guilt of those who run away from their families, or (what is much the same), in consequence of idleness or drunkenness, throw them upon public charity; or who leave them destitute at death, when, by diligence and frugality, they might have laid up a provision for their support.

(2.) Scholastic Instruction.

613. This is another duty that parents owe their children. No man, with all the advantages of education universally provided by the state, and by private liberality, should suffer his family to be, in this respect, behind the enlightened age in which they live. To grudge the money spent in this way, is a cruel and detestable niggardliness. A good education is a portion, the only one which some are able to give their children, and which, in many cases, has led to every other kind of wealth.

614. The judicious selection of a school is a matter of indescribable importance. Parents should be guided in their choice, not by a mere regard to intellectual or ornamental accomplishments, but wherever real piety is inculcated, a thirst for knowledge excited, and habits of application, reflection, sobriety of judgment, and good sense are formed, that is the school to be selected by a wise and Christian parent.

615. Education, properly understood, is not so much the communication of knowledge, as the formation of character. A youth may have his head stuffed full of Latin and Greek, of mathematics, and natural philosophy; a girl may draw, and dance, and play, and speak French, exquisitely, and yet be miserably educated, after

PARENTAL DUTIES.-EDUCATION.

283

all. Integrity, good sense, generosity, and a capacity for reflection, are worth all the acquirements which even a university can bestow. These, however, are not incompatible with each other: the perfection of education is the union of both.

(3.) Due Regard to the Health of Children.

616. A due regard to the health of children should be maintained. Physical education is of no small importance. Knowledge gained at the expense of health is purchased at a fearful expense.

There are other ways of injuring the health beside that of a too close application to learning; among these is the habit of pampering the appetites of children, making the gratification of appetite too prominent an object, and especially when resorting to it as a reward of good conduct a practice which not only corrupts health, but morals, and brings up children to be governed by appetite rather than by reason, which is, in fact, the secret cause of all the intemperance and profligacy of the world.

617. (4.) Parents should instruct their children to form low notions of the importance of riches and worldly show, and of the power which these things have either to give respectability to the character, or to procure happiness.

Children should not hear their parents magnify the value of wealth by words, nor see them do it by actions. No undue solicitude should be shown about grandeur of abode or furniture. Children should early learn from their parents, that it is CHARACTER that CONSTITUTES true RESPECTABILITY; that a good man is reputable in any circumstances, a bad man in none. They should also be encouraged to consider, and seek, and use wealth, rather as a means of usefulness, than a source of personal gratification.

618. (5.) It is the duty of parents to lead their children to the formation of industrious habits; to caution them against sauntering and slothfulness; to impress them with the value of time, showing that it is the stuff of which life is made, and that we lose as much of life as we do of time. Habits of order and punctuality should also be enforced.

619. (6.) Economy is no less necessary. Industry and economy belong, not to savage, but to civilized life. When teaching economy, parents must be careful, how

ever, not to drive the mind into covetousness. With all their endeavors to cherish frugality, they should be no less assiduous to encourage generosity; and to impress their children with the idea, that the end of saving is not to hoard, but to provide for our own wants, and to distribute to the wants of others.

620. (7.) Children should be provided with suitable employment. It is our happiness to live in a country where trade and industry are accounted honorable.

621. (8.) GENEROSITY should be most assiduously inculcated, and thus the selfishness of our nature be counteracted.

Let children be early taught that the highest enjoyment arises not from individual gratification, but from a communion in pleasure. They should hear much of the happiness arising from gratifying others, of the luxury and beauty of benevolence, and of the meanness of greediness. They should be sent on errands of mercy to the poor and needy, that, being spectators both of their misery, and of their tears of gratitude for relief, they may acquire a disposition to do good. They should be encouraged to practice self-denial to have the means of beneficence, but no compulsory benevolent action should be attempted, as this course would tend to disgust them with it.

622. (9.) PRUDENCE is of vast consequence in the affairs of life. This is, next to piety, the most valuable quality of character. Half the misery of some persons' lives, who are good people too, arises from a rash, thoughtless, indiscreet mind. Hence children should be led to cultivate a deliberative, reflecting judgment; to weigh their words, and measure their actions; to form the habit of looking forward to the tendency and result of conduct; to observe a suitable decorum in words, and thoughts, and actions. They are to be taught that this wisdom is far above learning, genius, taste, accomplishments.

623. (10.) Regard should be had by parents to the EDUCATION OF CIRCUMSTANCES. The sentiments they drop occasionally, the conversation overheard by children when playing in the corner of the room, the maxims that govern the conduct of parents, their example, the likings and dislikings they express-these educate children, more than schools do. The society that parents live in-their

PARENTAL DUTIES.-EDUCATION.

285

house, table, daily behavior, domestics-these educate a child. This education of circumstances begins as soon as children are capable of receiving or forming an idea; it goes on every instant of wakeful existence; and the character of children will be affected materially according to the tendency of these circumstances.

624. (11.) While maternal influence is great, and essential, no father should imagine that he can escape from obligation to bring all the weight of his own careful instructions and correct example, to assist those of the mother in the education of a family. Though teachers be employed, in the education of children, yet such is the inevitable influence of parents, that these are, in a most important sense, the educators of their offspring, except when separated from them. The first book and the most important that children read, is that of their parents' example and daily deportment; and parents should ponder carefully what they write in this domestic book.

(b.) Duties which Parents owe their Children, in reference to their Religious Character, and Future Welfare.

625. (1.) InstruCTION. As soon as reason dawns in the child, instruction should commence in the fundamental parts of revealed truth, and be conducted with reference to the capacity of the child. The basis of instruction should be the Bible, and oral explanations should be added. At a certain age, judicious catechisms may be employed to advantage, in connection with the Bible.

Thelwall and Coleridge.

626. Thelwall thought it very unfair to influence a child's mind by inculcating any opinions before it should come to years of discretion, and be able to choose for itself. "I showed him my garden," says Coleridge," and told him it was my botanical garden.' "How so," said he, "for it is covered with weeds." "Oh!" I replied, "that is because it has not come to its age of discretion and choice. The weeds, you see, have taken the liberty to grow, and I thought it unfair in me to prejudice the soil. toward roses and strawberries."

Instruction must be conveyed in a pleasing, and not compulsory and forbidding form. Children should not be wearied with long lectures, nor disgusted with long tasks.