A QUIET LIFE AND A GOOD NAME.

To a Friend who married a Shrew. 1724.

NELL fcolded in fo loud a din,
That Will durft hardly venture in;
He mark'd the conjugal difpute;
Nell roar'd inceffant, Dick fat mute;
But, when he faw his friend appear,
Cry'd bravely, Patience, good my dear!
At fight of Will, the bawl'd no more,
But hurry'd out, and clapp'd the door.

Why Dick the devil's in thy Nell,
(Quoth Will) thy houfe is worse than hell:
Why what a peal the jade has rung!
D-m her, why don't you flit her tongue?
For nothing ere will make it cease.
Dear Will, I fuffer this for peace :
I never quarrel with my wife;
I bear it for a quiet life.
Scripture, you know, exhorts us to it;
Bids us to feek peace, and enfue it.
Will went again to vit Dick;
And entering in the very nick,
He faw virago Nell belabeur,

With Dick's own ftaff, his peaceful neighbour :
Poor Will, who needs must interpofe,
Receiv'd a brace or two of blows,

But now, to make my story short,
Will drew out Dick to take a quart.
Why, Dick, thy wife has devilish whims;
Ods-buds! why don't you break her limbs?
If the were mine, and had fuch tricks,
I'd teach her how to handle sticks:
Z-nds! I would fhip her to Jamaica,
Or truck the carrion for tobacco:
I'd fend her far enough away-
Dear Will; but what would people say?
'Lord! I fhould get fo ill a name,
The neighbours round would cry out fhame.
Dick fuffer'd for his peace and credit;
But who believ'd him, when he said it!
Can he who makes himself a flave,
Confult his peace, or credit fave?
Dick found it by his ill fuccefs.
His quiet fmall, his credit lefs.
She ferv'd him at the ufual rate;

She ftunn'd, and then the broke, his pate:
And, what he thought the hardest cale,
The parish jeer'd him to his face;
Those men who wore the breeches leaft,
Call'd him a cuckold, foul, and beaft.
At home he was purfued with noife;
Abroad was pefter'd by the boys:
Within his wife would break his bones;
Without, they pelted him with stones:
The 'prentices procur'd a riding *,
To act his patience, and her chiding.

Falfe patience and mistaken pride!
There are ten thousand Dicks befide,
Slaves to their quiet and good name,
Are us'd like Dick, and bear the blame.

THE BIRTH OF MANLY VIRTU Infcrib'd to Lord CARTERET, 1724.

"Gratior & pulchro veniens in corpore Virtus." VI

ONCE on a time, a righteous fage,
Griev'd at the vices of the age,
Applied to Jove with fervant prayer :
"O Jove, if Virtue be so fair

"As it was deem'd in former days

46

By Plato and by Socrates,

"Whose beauties mortal eyes escape,

Only for want of outward fhape; "Make then its real excellence, "For once, the theme of human sense: "So fhall the eye, by form confin'd, "Direct and fix the wandering mind, "And long-deluded mortals fee "With rapture what they us'd to flee."

Jove grants the prayer, gives Virtue birth,
And bids him blefs aud mend the earth.
Behold him blooming fresh and fair,
Now made-ye gods-a fon and heir:
An heir; and, ftranger yet to hear,
An heir; an orphan of a peer;
But prodigies are wrought to prove
Nothing impoffible to Jove.

Virtue was for this fex defign'd
In mild reproof to womankind;
In manly form to let them fee
The loveliness of modesty,

The thousand decencies that shone
With leffen'd luftre in their own;
Which few had learn'd enough to prize,
And fome thought modifh to defpife.

To make his merit more difcern'd,
He goes to school-he reads-is learn'd;
Rais'd high, above his birth, by knowledge,
He fhines diftinguish'd in a college;
Refolv'd nor honour, nor estate,
Himself alone fhould make him great.
Here foon for every art renown'd,
His influence is diffus'd around;
Th' inferior youth, to learning led,
Lefs to be fam'd than to be fed,
Behold the glory he has won,
And blush to fee themselves outdone;
And now inflam'd with rival rage,
In scientific ftrife engage;
Engage-and, in the glorious ftrife,
The arts new-kindle into life.

Here would our hero ever dwell,
Fix'd in a lonely learned cell;
Contented to be truly great,
In Virtue's beft-belov'd retreat;
Contented he--but Fate ordains,
He now fhall fhine in nobler scenes
(Rais'd high, like some celeftial fire,
To fhine the more, fill rifing higher);
Completely form'd in every part,
To win the foul and glad the heart.
The powerful voice, the graceful mien,]
Lovely alike, or heard, or feen;
The outward form and inward vie,
His foul bright beaming from his eye,

Ennobling every a& and air,

With juft, and generous, and fincere. Accomplish'd thus, his next refort

is to the council and the court, Where Virtue is in least repute, And intereft the one purfuit;

Where right and wrong are bought and fold,
Barter'd for beauty, and for gold;
Here Manly Virtue, even here,
Plast in the person of a peer,
Apeer; a fcareely-bearded youth,
We talk'd of justice and of truth,
Of anecence the furest guard,
Tales here forgot, or yet unheard;
That he alone deferv'd esteem,

Who was the man he wish'd to feem;
Cell'd it unmanly and unwife,
To lark behind a mean disguise;
(Give fraudful Vice the mask and screen,
Tis Virtue's intereft to be feen);
Call'd want of fhame want of fenfe,
And found, in blushes, eloquence.
Thus, acting what he taught fo well,
He drew dumb Merit from her cell,
Led with amazing art along

The bashful dame, and loos'd her tongue;
And, whilst he made her value known,
Yet more difplay'd and rais'd his own.

Thus young, thus proof to all temptations, He rifes to the highest stations

For where high honour is the prize,
True Virtue has a right to rife):
Let courtly flaves low bend the knee
To Wealth and Vice in high degree:
Exalted Worth difdains to owe
Its grandeur to its greatest foe.

Now rais'd on high, fee Virtue fhows
The godlike ends for which he rofe;
For him, let proud Ambition know
The height of glory here below,
Grandeur, by goodness made complete!
Te blefs, is truly to be great!
He taught how men to honour rife,
Like gilded vapours to the skies,
Which, howfoever they display
Their glory from the god of day,
Their nobleft ufe is to abate
His dangerous excefs of heat,

To field the infant fruits and flowers,
And blefs the earth with genial showers.
Now change the fcene; a nobler care
Demands him in a higher sphere* :
Diftrefs of nations calls him hence,
Permitted fo by Providence ;

For models, made to mend our kind,
To no one clime fhould be confin'd;
And Manly Virtue, like the fun,
His courfe of glorious toils fhould run;
Alke diffufing in his flight
Congenial joy, and life, and light.
Pale Envy fickens, Error flies,
And Difcord in his prefence dies;
Oppreffion hides with guilty dread,
And Merit rears her drooping head;

Lard Carteret bad the bonour of mediating peace

for Sweden with Denmark and with the Czar.

The arts revive, the vallies fing,

And winter foftens into spring :

The wondering world, where'er he moves,
With new delight looks up and loves;
One fex confenting to admire,
Nor lefs the other to defire;
Whilft he, though feated on a throne,
Confines his love to one alone;
The reft condemn'd, with rival voice
Repining, do applaud his choice.

Fame now reports, the Western Isle
Is made his manfion for a while,
Whose anxious natives night and day
(Happy beneath his righteous fway)
Weary the gods with ceaseless prayer,
To blefs him, and to keep him there;
And claim it as a debt from fate,
Too lately found, to lose him late.

My skin he flay'd, my hair he eropt;
At head and foot my body lopt;

And then, with heart more hard than stone,
He pick'd my marrow from the bone.
To vex me more, he took a freak
To flit my tongue, and make me speak:
But, that which wonderful appears,
I fpeak to eyes, and not to ears.
He oft' employs me in difguife,
And makes me tell a thoufand lies:
To me he chiefly gives in truft
To please his malice or his luft:
From me no fecret he can hide;
I fee his vanity and pride:
And my delight is to expofe
His follies to his greatet foes.

All languages I can command,
Yet not a word I understand.
Without my aid, the beft divine
In learning would not know a line :
The lawyer muft forget his pleading;
The fcholar could not fhow his reading.
Nay, man my master is my flave;
I give command to kill or fave;
Can grant ten thousand pounds a-year,
And make a beggar's brat a peer.

But, while I thus my life relate,

I only haften on my fate.

My tongue is black, my mouth is furr'd,
I hardly now can force a word.

I die unpitied and forgot,

And on fome dunghill left to rot.

II. ON GOLD.

ALL-RULING tyrant of the earth,
To vileft flaves I owe my birth.
How is the greatest monarch bleft,
When in my gaudy livery dreft!
No haughty nymph has power to run
From me, or my embraces fhun.

Stabb'd to the heart, condemn'd to flame,
My conftancy is ftill the fame.
The favourite meffenger of Jove,
And Lemnian god, confulting ftrove
To make me glorious to the fight
Of mortals, and the gods delight.
Soon would their altars' flame expire,
If I refufe to lend them fire.

III.

By fate exalted bigh in place,
1.0,
here I stand with double face;
Superior none on earth I find;
But fee below me all mankind.
Yet, as it oft' attends the great,
I almost fink with my own weight.
At every motion undertook,
The vulgar all confult my look.
1 fometimes give advice in writing,
But never of my own inditing.

I am a courtier in my way;
For those who rais'd me, I betray;
And fome give out, that I entice
To luft, and luxury, and dice;
Who punishments on me inflict;
Because they find their pockets pickt,

By riding poft, I lose my health And only to get others wealth.

IV. ON THE POSTERIORS. BECAUSE I am by nature blind,

I wifely choofe to walk bebind;
However, to avoid difgrace,

I let no creature fee my face.

My words are few, but fpoke with sense;
And yet my Speaking gives offence:
Or, if to rubifper I prefume,

The company will fly the room.
By all the world I am oppreft;
And my oppreffion gives them reft.

Through me, though fore against my will,
Inftrutters every art inftil.

By thousands I am fold and bought,
Who neither get nor lofe a groat;
For none, alas! by me can gain,
Put thofe who give me greatest pain.
Shall man prefume to be my mafter,
Who's but my caterer and tafler?
Yet, though I always have my will,
I am but a mere depender ftill;
An humble banger on at best,
Of whom all people make a jeft.

In me detractors feek to find
Two vices of a different kind:
I'm too profufe, fome cenfurers cry;
And all I get, I let it fly:

While others give me many a curse,
Becaufe too close I hold my purse.
But this I know, in either cafe
They dare not charge me to my face.
'Tis true indeed, fometimes I fave,
Sometimes run out of all I have;
But, when the year is at an end,
Computing what I get and spend,
My goings-out, and comings-in,
I cannot find I lofe or win;
And therefore all that know me fay,
I juftly keep the middle way.
I'm always by my betters led;
I laft get up, and firft a-bed;
Though, if I rife before my time,
The learn'd in fciences fublime
Confult the stars, and thence foretel
Good luck to thofe with whom I dwell.

V. ON A HORN.

THE joy of man, the pride of brutes,
Domeftic fubjects for difputes,
Of plenty thou the emblem fair,
Adorn'd by nymphs with all their care!
I faw thee rais'd to high renown,
Supporting half the Britifh crown;
And often have I feen thee grace
The chafte Diana's infant face;
And whenfoe'er you pleafe to fhine,
Lefs ufeful is her light than thine :
Thy numerous fingers know their way,
And oft in Celia's treffes play.

To place thee in another view,

I'll fhow the world ftrange things and true;

Wheelerds and dames of high degree
May july claim their birth from thee.
The foul of man with spleen you vex;
Of spleen you cure the female fex.
Thee for a gift the courtier fends
With pleasure to his fpecial friends:
He gives, and with a generous pride,
Contrives all means the gift to hide :
Not of can the receiver know,
Whether he has the gift or no.
Onary wings you take your flight,
And fy unfeen both day and night;
Concal your form with various tricks;
And few know how or where you fix;
Yet fome, who ne'er beftow'd thee, boast
That they to others give thee most.
Mean time, the wife a question start,
I then a real being art;

Or but a creature of the brain,
That gives imaginary pain.

But the fly giver better knows thee,

Who feels true joys when he bestows thee.

VI. ON A CORKSCREW.

50rGE I, alas! a prifoner be,
My trade is prifoners to fet free.
Lave his lord's commands obeys
Wh fuch infinuating ways.

My genius, piercing, fear, and bright,
Wherein the men of wit delight.
The cergy keep me for their ease
And turn and wind me as they please.
A cow and wondrous art I fhow
Criting fpirits from below;

park fome, and fome in white;
They rife, walk round, yet never fright.
at each meath the fpirits pass,
Dimely feen, as through a glass;
bed and bedy make a rout,
And drive at laft all fecrets out:
Ad ill, the more I show my art,
The more they open every heart.
A greater chemift none than I,
We from materials bard and dry
Et taught men to extract with skill
More precious juice than from a still.
Although I'm often out of cafe,
net afham'd to fhow my face.
Tegh at the tables of the great
Tar the fide-board take
my feat;

Yet the plain 'fquire, when dinner's done,
ever pleas'd till I make one :

He kindly bids me near him ftand,

And often takes me by the band.
twice a day a bunting go,
Not ever fail to feize my foe;
Ad, when I have him by the pole,
Teng upwards from his bole;
Though fome are of so stubborn kind,
In feed to leave a limb behind.
Iburiy wait fome fatal end;
Fer I can break, but fcorn to band.

VIL THE GULF OF ALL HUMAN POS-
SESSIONS.

Carme hither, and behold the fruits,
Yam of all thy vain pursuits,

Take wife advice, and look behind,
Bring all paft actions to thy mind.
Here you may fee, as in a glafs,
How foon all human pleafures pafs.
How will it mortify thy pride,
To turn the true impartial fide!
How will your eyes contain their tears,
When all the fad reverfe appears!

This cave within its womb confines
The laft refult of all defigns:
Here lie depofited the spoils
Of bufy mortals' endless toils:
Here, with an easy search, we find
The foul corruptions of mankind.
The wretched purchase here behold
Of traitors who their country fold.
This gulf infatiable imbibes

The lawyer's fees, the statesman's bribes.
Here, in their proper fhape and mien,
Fraud, perjury, and guilt are feen.
Neceflity, the tyrant's law,

All human race must hither draw;
All prompted by the fame defire,
The vigorous youth, and aged fire.
Behold, the coward and the brave,
The haughty prince, the humble flave,
Phyfician, lawyer, and divine,
All make oblations at this fhrine.
Some enter boldly, fome by ftealth,
And leave behind their fruitless wealth.
For while the bafhful fylvan maid,
As half afham'd, and half afraid,
Approaching finds it hard to part
With that which dwelt fo near ber heart;
The courtly dame, unmov'd by fear,
Profufely pours her offerings here.

A treasure here of learning lurks,
Huge heaps of never-dying works;
Labours of many an ancient fage,
And millions of the prefent age.

In at this gulf all offerings pafs
And lie an undiftinguish'd mafs.
Deucalion, to reftore mankind,
Was bid to throw the ftones bebind;
So thofe who here their gifts convey
Are forc'd to look another way;
For few, a chofen few, muft know
The mysteries that lie below.

Sad charnel-houfe! a difmal dome,
For which all mortals leave their home!
The young, the beautiful, and brave,
Here bury'd in one common grave!
Where each fupply of dead renews
Unwholefome damps, offenfive ders;
And lo! the writing on the walls
Points out where each new victim falls;
The food of worms and beafs obfcene,
Who round the vault luxuriant reign.

See where thofe mangled corpfes lie,
Condemn'd by female hands to die!
A comely dame, once clad in white,
Lies there confign'd to endless night;
By cruci hands her blood was fpilt,
And yet her wealth was all her guilt.

And here fix virgins in a tomb,
All-beauteous offspring of one womb,
Oft' in the train of Venus feen,
As fair and lovely as their queen :