keys. Sixtus answered, It is true; but it is so long since they were given, as I doubt the wards of the lock be altered. 73. (50.) Charles King of Swede, a great enemy of the Jesuits, when he took any of their colleges, he would hang the old Jesuits, and put the young to his mines, saying; That since they wrought so hard above ground, he would try how they could work under ground. 74. (51.) In Chancery, one time, when the counsel of the parties set forth the boundaries of the land in question, by the plot; And the counsel of one part said, We lie on this side, my lord; And the counsel of the other part said, We lie on this side: the Lord Chancellor Hatton stood up and said, If you lie on both sides, whom will you have me to believe. 75. (109.) Vespasian and Titus his eldest son were both absent from Rome when the empire was cast upon him.' Domitian his younger son was at Rome, who took upon him the affairs; and being of a turbulent spirit, made many changes, and displaced divers officers and governors of provinces, sending them successors. So when Vespasian came to Rome, and Domitian came into his presence, Vespasian said to him; Son, I looked when you would have sent me a successor. 76. (71.) Sir Amice2 Pawlet, when he saw too much haste made in any matter, was wont to say, Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner. 77. (31.) The deputies of the reformed religion, after the massacre which was 3 upon St. Bartholomew's day, treated with the King and Queen-Mother, and some other of the counsel, for a peace. Both sides were agreed upon the articles. The question was, upon the security of performance. After some particulars propounded and rejected, the Queen-Mother said; Why, is not the word of a King sufficient security? One of the deputies answered; No, by St. Bartholomew, Madam. 78. (12.) When the Archduke did raise his siege from Grave, the then secretary came to queen Elizabeth; and the Queen, having intelligence first 5, said to the secretary, Wot you what? The Archduke is risen from the Grave. He answered, What, without the trumpet of the Archangel? The Queen replied; Yes, without sound of trumpet. Vespasian. R. 3 which was at Paris. R. ♪ having first intelligence thereof. R. Amyas. R. 4 for the performance. R. † 79. Francis the first used for his pleasure sometimes to go disguised. So walking one day in the company of the Cardinal of Bourbon near Paris, he met a peasant with a new pair of shoes upon his arm. So he called him to him and said; By our lady, these be good shoes, what did they cost thee? The peasant said; Guess. The King said; I think some five sols. Saith the peasant; You have lyed; but a carolois. What villain, (saith the Cardinal of Bourbon) thou art dead; it is the King. The peasant replied; The devil take him, of you and me, that knew so much. 80. (217.) There was a conspiracy against the Emperor Claudius by Scribonianus, examined in the senate; where Claudius sat in his chair, and one of his freed servants stood at the back of his chair. In the examination, that freed servant, who had much power with Claudius, very saucily had almost all the words: and amongst other things, he asked in scorn one of the examinates, who was likewise freed servant of Scribonianus; I pray, sir, if Scribonianus had been Emperor what would you have done? He answered; I would have stood behind his chair and held my peace. 81. (137.) Dionysius the tyrant, after he was deposed, and brought to Corinth, kept a school. Many used to visit him; and amongst others, one, when he came in, opened his mantle and shook his clothes; thinking to give Dionysius a gentle. scorn; because it was the manner to do so for them that came in to him while he was tyrant. But Dionysius said to him; I pray thee do so rather when thou goest out, that we may see thou stealest nothing away. 82. (241.) Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus and of Marcellus (whereof the former waited upon him, that he could make no progress; and the latter had many sharp fights with him); that he feared Fabius like a tutor; and Marcellus like an enemy. 83. (138.) Diogenes, one terrible frosty morning, came into the market-place, and stood naked, quaking, to shew his tolerancy. Many of the people came about him, pitying him. Plato passing by, and knowing he did it to be seen, said to the people, as he went by, If you pity him indeed, leave him alone. 84. (72.) Sackford, Master of the Requests 2 to Queen Eliza beth, had divers times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the Queen in a progress, and had on a new pair of boots. When he came in, the Queen' said to him, Fie sloven, thy new boots stink. Madam, (said he,) it is not my new boots that stink, but it is the stale bills that I have kept so long. 85. (218.) One was saying; That his great grandfather and grandfather and father died at sea. Said another that heard him; And I were as you, I would never come at sea. Why, (saith he,) where did your great grandfather and grandfather and father die? He answered; Where but in their beds? Saith the other; And I were as you, I would never come in bed. 86. (139.) Aristippus was earnest suitor to Dionysius for somewhat, who would give no ear to his suit. Aristippus fell at his feet; Then Dionysius granted it. One that stood by said afterwards to Aristippus; You a philosopher, and to be so base as to throw yourself at the tyrant's feet to get a suit? Aristippus answered; The fault is not mine, but the fault is in Dionysius, that carries his ears in his feet. † 87. There was a young man in Rome, that was very like Augustus Cæsar. Augustus took knowledge of it, and sent for the man, and asked him; Was your mother never at Rome? He answered; No, sir, but my father was. that † 88. A physician advised his patient, that had sore eyes, he should abstain from wine. But the patient said, I think rather, sir, from wine and water 2; for I have often marked it in blear eyes, and I have seen water come forth, but never wine. † 89. When Sir Thomas Moore was Lord Chancellor, he did use, at mass, to sit in the chancel; and his lady in a pew. And because the pew stood out of sight, his gentleman-usher ever after service came to the lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone. So when the Chancellor's place was taken from him, the next time they went to church, Sir Thomas himself came to his lady's pew, and said; Madam, my Lord is gone. 90. (73.) At an act of the Commencement, the answerer gave for his question; That an aristocracy was better than a monarchy. The replier, who was a dissolute fellow 3, did tax him; That being a private bred man, he would give a question of state. The answerer said; That the replier did much wrong the The Queen who loved not the smell of new leather. R. man. R. privilege of scholars; who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised. And added; We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice. 91. (219.) There was a dispute, whether great heads or little heads had the better wit? And one said; It must needs be the little. For it is a maxim, Omne majus continet in se minus. 92. (140.) Solon, when he wept for his son's death, and one said to him; Weeping will not help; answered, Alas, therefore I weep, because weeping will not help. 93. (141.) Solon being asked; Whether he had given the Athenians the best laws? answered; Yes, the best of those that they would have received. 94. (142.) One said to Aristippus; It is a strange thing, why should men rather give to the poor, than to philosophers. He answered; Because they think themselves may sooner come to be poor, than to be philosophers. 95. (145.) Alexander used to say of his two friends, Craterus and Hephaestion; That Hephaestion loved Alexander, and Craterus loved the King. 96. (146.) It fell out so, that as Livia went abroad in Rome, there met her naked young men that were sporting in the streets; which Augustus was about severely to punish in them; but Livia spake for them, and said, It was no more to chaste women than so many statua's. 97. (75.) Alonso of Arragon was wont to say, in commendation of age, That age appeared to be best in four things: Old wood best to burn; old wine to drink; old friends to trust; and old authors to read.3 98. (76.) It was said of Augustus, and afterwards the like was said of Septimius Severus, both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good towards their ends; That they should either have never been born or never died. 99. (74.) Queen Isabell of Spain used to say; Whosoever hath a good presence and a good fashion, carries letters of recommendation. 100. (143.) Trajan would say of the vain jealousy of princes, 1 For that. R. 4 Isabella. R. 2 went. R. 5 continual letters. 3 Melch. II. 1. 20. R. that seek to make away those that aspire to their succession; That there was never King that did put to death his successor. 101. (144.) When it was represented to Alexander, to the advantage of Antipater, who was a stern and imperious man, that he only of all his lieutenants wore no purple, but kept the Macedonian habit of black, Alexander said; Yes, but Antipater is all purple within.1 102. (77.) Constantine the Great, in a kind of envy, himself being a great builder, as Trajan likewise was, would call Trajan Wall-flower 2; because his name was upon so many walls. 103. (147.) Philip of Macedon was wished to banish one for speaking ill of him. But Philip said3; Better he speak where we are both known, than where we are both unknown. † 104. A Grecian captain, advising the confederates that were united against the Lacedæmonians touching their enterprise, gave opinion that they should go directly upon Sparta, saying; That the state of Sparta was like rivers; strong when they had run a great way, and weak towards their head. 105. (78.) Alonso of Arragon was wont to say of himself, That he was a great necromancer, for that he used to ask counsel of the dead: meaning books. 106. (148.) Lucullus entertained Pompey in one of his magnificent houses. Pompey said; This is a marvellous fair and stately house for the summer: but methinks it should be very cold for winter. Lucullus answered; Do you not think me as wise as divers fowl are, to remove with the season? 5 107. (149.) Plato entertained some of his friends at a dinner, and had in the chamber a bed or couch, neatly and costly furnished. Diogenes came in, and got upon the bed, and trampled upon it, and said; I trample upon the pride of Plato. Plato mildly answered; But with greater pride. †108. One was examined upon certain scandalous words spoken against the King. He confessed them, and said; It is true I spake them, and if the wine had not failed I had said much more. 109. (150.) Pompey being commissioner for sending grain to Rome in time of dearth, when he came to the sea, he found it very tempestuous and dangerous, insomuch as those about |