this proved a great trial for a fea fon to this daughter, as he was, by this removal, deprived of the faciety of a large circle of acquaintance, whom the highly valued. But while fhe lived in this retired place, fhe found as fhe conceived, that folid peace" which the world cannot give, nor take away." While here, fhe spoke of ha ving her eyes opened, on a certain morning, when walking out into the field, to behold the glory of God. All his works feemed to her to praise him, and her foul was drawn forth in admiration and love. From this time, fhe was led to a particular love and attention to the great affairs of religion.* She foon viewed it her duty, to name the name of Chrift, and to come to his table. On the Lord's day previous to her partaking of the holy fupper, fhe heard a difcourfe concerning the new-birth. She examined with close attention, and hoped the found fome good evidence in herself, that fhe had experienced this bieffed change. She continued ever after a faithful attendant on public worhip, and the Lord's fupper. Her father foon returned to his former feat at Wethersfield but died not long after, with the confumption-her mother followed him within two years after the death of her husband. Now was this affectionate and bereaved daughter forely preffed with heavy forrows! She being * The writer of thefe memoirs, has mot been able to obtain a particular account of her exercifes while under conviction, or before the received comfort -but fo far as he can learn, fhe had been for a confiderable length of time, under ferious thoughtfulness and concern for her foul. She was upwards of 20 years old, when her views of religion were altered as related above. the eldest of a numerous familythree fifters and a brother being in their childhood. In this difficult fituation, fhe conducted with furprifing difcretion-doing the duty of a parent as well as fifter-fhe kept the family together in peace and tenderness-promoted the unfinished education of the young fifters and brother, and labored to allure them in the paths of virtue and pure religion. She conducted as one tenderly concerned both for their temporal, and everlasting welfare. And when God in his provi dence, appeared to call her to enter into the marriage relation, fhe parted from her little charge, as a most tender and affectionate mother would from her children.f Her regard for religion induced her to contemplate the station of a minifter's wife, as highly im portant. This appears not only from her after conduct while the lived; but from the following extract from her writings, dated Jan. 1, 1799. "O God, thou who haft all 'power in thine hand-blefs this new year this new fituation to my foul. It is an important fta'tion thou haft placed me in'make me faithful in every duty 6 may I fo live as I fhall wifh I had 'done, when I come to die: As 'my day is fo let my ftrength be. 'Blefs my partner, and make him a help-meet to my foul, in the way heaven-ward.-Make me a bleffing to him, while life fhall laft. O my heavenly Father, 'make me faithful and my laft 'days my best days, most devotedl to thee, and when I have done 'with time, may I be fitted and prepared for, and received into + She was married to Mr. Mills Feb. 1798,being about 33 years of age, thy holy habitation, which I ask for Chrift's fake." Mrs. Mills gained the high efteem and charity of her pious acquaintance, and of the people where the lived. Her husband in her truly found," a wife from the Lord." She behaved towards his motherless children, with great tenderness and affection That she wrote much by way of diary is highly probable, as it was found after her death, that she had ordered a fifter, to burn up a large bundle of her manufcripts. Only a few fcraps of her private writings, are left behind. But a fpirit of piety runs through all her letters to her brothers and fifters ; fome extracts from which the compiler purposes to fubjoin to thefe memoirs. Her humility and felf-abafement appear in a note, Feb. '99. The text from which the had heard a discourse was, Matth. v. 16. Matth. v. 16. "Let your light fo fhine," &c. 'ions, from the book of thy remembrance.' Among her manufcripts was found the following covenant with her maker, dated July 12, 1789. "Incomprehenfible being, who ' searchest the hearts, and trieft the reins of the children of men.Thou knoweft my heart; my thoughts are all unveiled to thee. Thou knoweft, O my God, the greatest defire of my foul is to be entirely thine. The spirit is willing and ready to obey, but the flesh is weak. O heavenly Jefus, be thou my fupport, my guardian to direct me aright.Heavenly Father, in thy prefence I religiously devote myself to thy fervice, and entirely fubmit myself to thy will, knowing thy all-fearching eye is upon me. I renounce the vanities and 'amufements of the world, and choose thee as my happiness, my felicity and everlasting portion. O thou fupporter of the weak, 6 "How was I weighed in the bal-by whofe power alone I fhall be ance, and found wanting! How little have I done for God, and the world of mankind? How able to ftand, establish this ref'olution in my foul. Put thy fear into my heart, that I may never depart from thee. Let not the world with all its flatteries, draw < me from thee. Keep me in the poorly has my light fhone !Come fhort in every duty-yet God hath kindly lengthened out my life, and given me further op-hour of temptation, deliver me portunity." In à note, dated Oct. 25th '98, "This night do I defire to devote myself to God without referve, to be as willing to be ruled by his mighty power, as to be faved by his mercy. O dear Redeem er, appear for me, and fhed abroad thy love in my heart, that I may love thee with my whole foul; take me into thine arms of love and blefs me, forgive my fins, blot out all my tranfgrefs She was his fecond wife. His former at her deceafe left 8 children, the most of them small. 'from every evil. O my God, I fecretly reft in thee, through the blood of thy Son, that thou wouldest strengthen me with this ' refolution. "BECCA BELDEN." The following is an extract from another covenant. " I do hereby difclaim all other ways of falvation, and betake myself to thee as my only Mediator and Samy Prophet, Prieft and King, to 'viour-I gladly accept of thee as plead my caufe with the Father, by thy meritorious death, and 'powerful interceffion. I re nounce all my own righteousness, ken of thee, O city of God ⚫ and come unto thee naked, hun-praised be thy holy name my gry and thirsty, cafting all my cares at thy feet-imploring thy ⚫ aid to direct me aright.-O Lord God, for thy mercies this day. I have relished thy word this day, and it has been fweet to my foul bered by me. Blefs it unto my ' foul O my God." March 30th, 1794. "Brought again to the house of God this holy morning: O how good to wait on the Lord! Sweet has the word been this day to my foul." Jefus, by thy grace I do hereby-Let this day ever be rememrenounce all the enemies of the holy Trinity;-the world, the flesh, and the devil.-I do furrender myself to thee, Father, Son and Spirit, one God, to be thine, and thine only. Seeing above all things, thou requireft the heart, I do now make a furrendry of mine, to thee. O Lord take it, and form it for thyself * make it entirely new-holy, pure, free from fin-put thy fear into it, that it may never depart from ⚫ thee, for I have found it corrupt, wicked and deceitful, and dare ⚫ no longer pretend to manage it. O my God, I fweetly reft my foul on thee." It is evident from fome remaining fcraps, that fhe was a very faithful and profitable hearer, of a preached gofpel, and a devout attendant on the Lord's fupper. There are feveral of her notes befides, which the compiler has omitted. They all breathe forth the fame spirit of piety and devotion. Let us now attend her, in her last sickness and death. Mrs. Mills the fummer before her marriage, fell into a very low state of health, and her cafe threatened a confirmed decline. Tho' fhe in fome measure recovered, fhe ever after remained in a feeble habit. Her laft illnefs began more perceptibly. In June 1801, fhe declined gradually, until about 3 weeks before her death, when the progrefs of her diforder became more rapid. But in her lengthened indifpofition, while fhe daily viewed death approaching, fhe labored under diftreffing doubts and fears, left all her hopes had been gounded on a fandy foundation. June 12. "Had another oppor⚫tunity to fit at the holy feftival, to commemorate our dying Lord. • But how frozen was my heart! I She endured her illness with fought him, but I could not find much patience; not a murmur him, as I wished-returned not dropped from her lips, through the 'fatisfied-begun to doubt wheth-whole scene of her distress. 'er I had a right there-took up Mr. Wadsworth's guide for the doubting, and cordial for the 'faint read the eleventh cafe "Didst thou ever know a dead man hungry, or thirsty, or complain for want of food?" Thefe 'words comforted my heart." July 13. "O my heavenly Father, I have again been per'mitted to vifit thy holy courts, to wait on thee according to thine ' appointment.--Thy word has 'been fweetly difpenfed there 'and glorious things have been spo Pious ac quaintance and Christians of different denominations, who visited her, confiderded her as a child of God, and admired her charity; but while fhe entertained a good opinion of others, fhe had a low efteem of herself. She had fuch a deep and affecting fenfe of her own guiltinefs and unworthiness, Here follow fome extracts from her letters, which were in the hands of her brothers and fifters, at her death. fhe fometimes feared the fhould leave the world in defpair. But towards the close of her life, the had fome momentary relief, from particular paffages of fcripture; To one of her fifters fhe writes but her comfort would foon vanish, thus: Ever dear, dear filter, and leave her again in a state of ve-Your letter gave me inexpreffible ry painful anxiety and keen dif-pleafure -And efpecially to trefs of mind. The morning that she departed, being August 19, 1801, was after feveral days and nights of great bodily diftrefs;-extorting from her breast, continual groans. At feven in the morning fhe defired to be fet up in her bed. She was raised accordingly, and fupported by her husband. As foon as the was in this pofition, the ceafed to groan, converfed a few words rationally, and then fell into a very ardent, pathetic prayer, for herfelf -in which fhe prayed as one that must be heard. She repeated her petition for herself,-prayed for the family-for the world of mankind; then defired to be laid down. This being done, she earneftly prayed with a diftinct voice, Do thou, Lord Jefus, receive me to thyself!' When feeming to be about repeating the fame words, the died away without a groan or ftruggle. The breathlefs clay forthwith refumed its tranquil appearance, and reminded the beholder of these lines: "Ah! lovely appearance of death. "How bleft is our fifter bereft, How cafy the foul that has left, "The memory of the just is bleffed." She has left behind a bereaved husband, and a promifing fon, about fixteen months old, whom the defired might be fuitably educated, and devoted to the gofpel miniftry. 'hear that you was making the great enquiry concerned for your foul-mourning for fin.— 'How great, how good is God! To remember mercies in the midst of affliction-call fome to himself, while others go aftray. You afk my advice, concerning fome remaining doubts, in taking 'that folemn covenant upon your• felf. I am not capable of inftructing you, for I have much to learn. But this I can advise you, 'to have recourfe to the word of God; try yourself there. In this facred volume, there is a 'balfam for every wound. It was for the fick foul that Chrift ap'peared. "He did not come to call the righteous, but finners to repentance." If you see yourself thus poor and helplefs-your un'done ftate within yourfelf, and 'that there is help in no other but Chrift; the promifes are yours. We cannot merit any thing of ourfelves. If you feel that you 'would freely give up all for 'Chrift; then the word of God fpeaks fweetly for you; Chrift • died for you. 'Does your husband go with 'you? How charming to fee a 'whole family walking the heav Senly road! How it fweetens every care, and greatly adds to the happiness of this life, but joy 'inexpreffible in the life to come! Do tell him the great duty in'cumbent on him, as the head of a family, not to neglect family prayer nor that great duty of giving up his child in baptifm. O my friends, with this child, you lead a heavenly life, and fo you have a precious foul com⚫mitted to your care-fee to it that you do your duty, and walk before it with pious examples.-his holy word-there are fweet • May God grant the fweet influof his Holy Spirit upon you, fcatter every doubt, and give you free accefs to him, thro' the merits of his Son." ences In another letter to a fifter, dated Chester December 22, 1800, the writes thus, "I hope you are ⚫ enjoying all the fweets of health: If fo, you have great opportunity for reading, meditation and prayer. In the morning of life, improve those precious moments.Not with vain books, which will not profit but the bible, that beft of books. Let it be early ⚫treafured in you mind-It will guide and direct you in every fcene of life. Befides, there are • many and a great variety of very • excellent books, in which we • may improve the mind, if we have a heart difpofed for it. we fit ftill, we fhall perish. But there is every encouragement for us to prefs forward. God has • promifed to "be found of them that feek him." 'counfels and directions, that will In another letter to a fifter, fhe writes "Many thanks for your kind 'favor, prefented by the hand of fifter B- Your just fenti ments in religion rendered it truIfly agreeable. O my N may you profefs it in fincerity ' and truth. Find God a father to you at all times, the Holy Ghoft your fanctifier and preferver. In enjoying God, you pof'fefs all things that are truly valuable, for time and a never ending eternity. Now you have a talent put into your hand, improve it— you are not hurried in businessa great opportunity to read your bible, the best of guides-attend 'it while young, it will direct you in every fcene of life." God grant that the amiable temper, and pious examples which this perfon has exhibited, may be imitated by all her furviving friends and acquaintance, and by all into whofe hands these memoirs may come! JOSEPHUS. |