Encouragement without Committal.

141

case, and am therefore incapable of judging. There may be circumstances which entirely justify you in the course you have taken. But this I sayevery woman should know her own mind so far as not to involve another in a deeper disappointment by encouragement which she never intends to sanction."

"Would you have us, on the first word a gentleman addresses to us, behave as if we supposed him serious in his attentions?" "Certainly not. We are speaking of cases where the gentleman is in earnest, and the lady knows him to be so. Women are not so short-sighted as they sometimes pretend. They are all vain enough to be tolerably ready in drawing inferences of this kind. Great judgment and discrimination are called for, I admit. It is on account of the variety of character we meet with in the world, that so much caution is necessary, and so many fortresses and barriers erected. When a man is using coquetish weapons, I think a woman is justified in meeting him on his own grounds, and engaging in the same sort of skirmishing. But genuine worth and deep affection are invariably distrustful and retiring. Every woman should have the good sense and discernment to make the distinction ;-and the justice and good feeling not to treat a man of delicacy and principle as she would a conceited coxcomb, who is boasting that every lady of his acquaintance is in love with him-any one of whom he could have for the asking, which trouble he would not for worlds impose upon himself!"

"I hope you do not think so illy of me as to believe for a moment, I could act the part of a coquet. I hold the character in utter contempt and aversion."

"If I did, I should despair of doing you any good, and therefore should not have taken the trouble to engage you in this conversation.

"Vanity, and pride of influence, and love of admiration, may lead many to this sort of non-committal encouragement, whose feelings revolt at the idea of coquetry-perhaps in some cases because the attentions and acquaintance of the gentleman are really agreeable and valuable :-but there is great selfishness and cruelty in holding out a false encouragement on these grounds. I know that there are many cases which involve questions of great difficulty-and nothing short of positive contract should be relied upon. The ground is so checkered with moon-shine that there is great liability to mistakes and deception-but a kind and feeling heart, who will regard another's good as well as its own, can always discern the right course to pursue. Affection is too sacred a thing to be trifled with—and disappointment in the affections, falls of course with most severity on the most sensitive so that there is not only an injury done, but the deepest injury where it can least be borne. I have no doubt many young men have received an injury from some early disappointment, that has changed the whole tenor of their lives and characters :-making them suspicious, distrustful, and misanthropic-if not driving them to a life of seclusion and celibacy, in that most unamiable of all characters, a woman-hater. I own I am interested in this question partly for the cause of womanhood. I do not like to see individual sins visited upon whole communities-and have all suffer for the heedlessness and coquetry of a few.

"Every body loves power-and as women are allowed precious little, it is scarcely to be wondered at that some use it despotically during their

short reign. It is sometimes so exercised where the power is soon to change hands-forgetting that

"Gently shall those be ruled who gently swayed.”

"I am convinced that women were not made to possess positive and absolute power, because it intoxicates them. But the power of influence is theirs, lawfully—and here they have power enough, if they only knew it and knew how to use it :-the moon has power to heave the mighty ocean.” "According to your views, we can neither speak, or smile, or look sober, for fear of hurting some one's feelings or doing mischief."

"You know better!—I am a great advocate for free and unreserved social intercourse. There is nearly as much error in the extreme reserve and foolish prudery of some, as in the coquetry of others; though it is erring on the safe side. I have seen a group of bright, happy girls, who were all vivacity and cheerfulness, look as demure on the entrance of a gentleman, and answer as precisely as if they had never gone beyond the rule of three direct' in their lives. The very atmosphere of the room fell below zero in half a minute. I would not have the natural desire to please, which is in itself so winning, suppressed. If a gentleman interprets a native ingenuousness and ready sympathy into personal encouragement, it is his mistake, and he must learn wisdom by experience. I wish there was a vast deal more of the effort to please exercised,-the world would be a happier one-and if it was a better world, there would be more—just as if all who are not lovers are not brothers and sisters."

"Well, I have listened to you very patiently, and you have talked as if you had all the argument on your side."

“And you as if you were a little self-condemned—and have not even attempted a defense. Perhaps some friend could do it for you better-for instance, Mr. G. He would, I have no doubt, excuse and extenuate more readily than you will yourself. But since you are in such a mood of thoughtfulness and sobriety, I will leave you to your meditations. GOOD NIGHT."

For the Microcosm.

"THE SHADED JOYS OF EARTH."

"The shaded joys of Earth."-Prof. Fitch.

THIS lovely earth in beauty clad,
In verdure gay, in sunshine glad,

Her vernal robe bedecked with flowers,

And melody in all her bowers,

Her peaceful vales, and vine-clad hills,
Her mountains hoar, and sparkling rills,
Bright leaping waters gushing o'er,
And swelling ocean's tuneful roar ;
Her starry lamps and sapphire sky,
And silver moon with radiant eye ;—
Oh say what shadow dims her light?—
What hue of sorrow's raven night

New Haven May, 1835.

The value of a good Mother.

Throws its dark mantle o'er her joys?
What hushes her exulting voice,
And sings instead, a sadder strain

Than Israel's 'neath the conqueror's chain ?—

Oh it is sin, hath blighted all

That e'er was lovely since the fall,

That brings the "shade" o'er earth-born joys,
And their fair coloring destroys;

That robs her beauty of its light,

Her tones of melody, her strength of might,
That shrouds in moral night the human soul
And brings the conqueror, death, to bind the whole.
-Yet joy to man! joy amid grief is born,

Strength out of weakness, from the night the morn;
Christ hath redeemed, what man to ruin gave,
Hath bound the conqueror, hath entombed the grave,
Hath purchased shadeless joys, in worlds of light,
A day immortal that may know no night,
Beauty undying in a fadeless clime,

And seraph-melody in ceaseless chime.

C.

113

THE VALUE OF A GOOD MOTHER.

As we went on our way, Simon's half-uttered words stopped on his tongue as he paused and fixed his keen inquiring eyes on an old, worndown, gray haired man, carrying a basket of water-cresses, which he was advertising for sale in a foolish rhyme, lilted forth with a feeble cracked voice. I expected to see Simon, as usual, administer to the wants of this very poor looking beggar; but there he stood without any movement of the sort, and still observing the man with a most peculiar expression. At last, this merchant of water-cresses turning round, his eyes met Simon's, his countenance fell, the sounds died away in his throat, and he stood seemingly unable to move. "So Duncan," said Simon, "and has it already come to this? I knew it would be so some time or other; but, truly, I did not think it would be in my day." "Ah, Mr. Frazer," said he in a deploring tone, and pulling off his hat, "ah, sir, I've been very unfortunate! ah, Mr. Frazer, tak' pity on a puir auld man!" and trying to look pitiable and interesting, his wicked countenance took on such an expression of hypocrisy and cunning, that I instinctively turned away my eyes. "My pity extends to a sinful degree," said Simon, for it withholds me from exposing you as I ought. So I will get out of the way of temptation as soon as I can ;" and as he turned off, he chucked a trifle into the wretch's basket. "Oh, the sinner," cried Simon," he will die as he lived—a disgrace to his species! Bless God for your mother, boy-your excellent, virtuous mother," said the good man. "Bless God for her every "For your

day and hour of your life." "And for Simon," said I. mother!" he repeated with emphasis. "What was all I could do? What is all any one can do by occasional help and advice, which

is all that those who are not inmates ever can bestow-to compare with the perpetually operating influence of a mother's efforts and example, whether it be for good or for evil? Even a father, aye, I repeat it, even a father can but aid the wife's and mother's efforts. And all the exertions of the best and cleverest man on earth to produce comfort in his house, or bring up his children well, are without the concurrence of his wife, utterly ineffectual. He may lay in stores, he may purchase clothes for himself and his family, he may send them to school; still, if his wife is a fool, or a sloven, or idle, or careless, his money and his means fade away like the morning cloud and the early dew. On the contrary, even when a father is careless or expensive, or, that bitterest of evils, drunken, if he has a clever and conscientious wife, see, in spite of him, how his house is kept and his children thrive! It is wonderful! perhaps more wonderful than if she were a widow; for then, though her means are too often cut short, what she procures by her industry is not wasted, her time is not lost, her patience and temper are not tried, or her children poisoned by the example of a drunkard. It is rarely a widow's children turn out ill. On the contrary, I could point out to you many of the most respectable thriving men at home and abroad, who like yourself, are the sons of widows left nearly destitute. But look to the sons of widowers, alas, alas! that is often a dismal sight, unless where a sister, an aunt, or a grandmother helps to supply the blank. In short, my son, the fact is just this; all the real solid virtue and comfort and joy and respectability of domestic life, among rich and poor, is derived from women. Every thing else is but appearance, varnish-glaze. And he who despises women must either have looked upon life with the eyes of ignorance and folly, or through the medium of vice. Those whose habits and feelings have been formed among the profligate, don't know worth and virtue when they are before their eyes. All that is not glaring vice, they conclude to be hypocrisy and cunning. This is one of the blights left by vice upon the minds of men. Many a wicked, worthless wretch there is among women. Many a cruel, unprincipled tigress-many a useless, wasteful, exasperating fool; and to this pitiable fact, many an honest man's house and bairns bear dismal wit ness. I am not the advocate of their folly or vice, but I would like to impress every man whom I value and wish well, with the conviction of the infinite importance of woman in every circumstance of human life, from the cradle to the grave! On the woman he marries depends a man's own happiness, often his character, still more often his respectability through life and the place he holds in society. From her his sons will derive their capacities and characters, whether from inheritance or from the slow but sure influence of the earliest example and education, I don't pretend to tell, but one thing is certain, no silly mother ever had a clever son. If sons are so much influenced by mothers, what must their influence upon the principles, dispositions, and characters of daughters be? In short, he who wishes for comfort at home, and for the blessing of well ordered, obedient and respectable children, either while they are infants, or after they grow up, had bet ter think in time, and weigh well the disposition and principles of her he means to make his wife."-Selected.

WHEN a system falls under censure or a particular measure is disapproved, refuge is often taken in the retort" show us a better way"-as constituting a complete triumph. We acknowledge that the demand is often very hard to meet ;-but this difficulty forms no argument in favor of the errors of an unsound course; nor is it always a stumbling-block in the way of improvement. There is such a thing as improvement to be attained in our plans and practices and we may often adopt the succesful experiments of our predecessors with decided and permanent benefit.

Of the common errors in family discipline, we have ever considered punishment inflicted under the excitement of anger, one of the most glaring in its nature, and the most injurious in its effects. Punishment thus administered becomes the indulgence of passion, and can scarcely fail of being unjust. The subject of such impulsive discipline, unhumbled if not aggrieved, considers, in his heart, the parent as the greater offender, and though he dares not utter it, feels that concessions are justly due to himself from that parent. Hasty retribution carries with it the marks of haste;-and is often followed by the long regret so frequently attendant upon hasty actions. Mature reflection leaves less room for repentance than impetuosity, and if personal tranquillity and peace of mind were alone concerned, would be the wiser leader.

We have known a system of family discipline, so far carried into execution as to prove the stability of its foundation ;--the success of which served but to enhance its value. The plan consisted in devoting a stated hour daily to the investigation, and, when requisite, to the punishment of such offenses and grievances, as will occur among the children of every family. The interval between the commission of a fault, and this hour of judgment, was occupied by the parent in reflection upon the most judicious course to be pursued, with prayer for guidance and wisdom respecting it. The child is told that his fault will be investigated at the proper time, and meet its just recompense; and knows by experience that postponement is not relinquishment. Many little errors and misdemeanors may only need a passing and gentle reproof at the time of their commission. And there may be circumstances connected with a flagrant offense, demanding immediate attention. No rule is without its exceptions. The apparent insufficiency of this plan arises from the adjournment being made the pretext for neglecting all atten