myself: and all along, as I verged the loss of all my former friends. nearer and nearer to Methodism, I Giving these proofs of integrity, I was painfully sensible that I was set off in dependence on those plain drawing upon myself the same mor-promises which I have mentioned: tifying distinctions. I have been a I have sought this desired knowvain-glorious candidate for human ledge of the truth, chiefly in reading applause: but I renounce such pre- the Holy Scriptures, and by prayer tensions, and willingly submit to be for the promised teaching of the considered by the world under the Holy Ghost, in the manner which mortifying character of a half-wit- hath been related; and I am now ted, crack-brained enthusiast. These led to conclusions diametrically opepithets I am sensible are now be- posite to what I expected! Now, stowed upon me behind my back, lay all these things together, and nay, very often to my face: I bless attentively consider them, and then God, however, this doth not move let your own consciences determine me; but I can heartily thank him, how far it is probable, that a perthat I am counted worthy to suffer son, in this manner seeking for the shame for his sake. But when I truth, should be given over to a saw the trial approaching, it ap- strong delusion to believe a pernipeared very formidable; and I can cious lie. "If a son shall ask bread truly affirm, that nothing but the of any of you that is a father, will fullest conviction, that the cause in he give him a stone? or if he ask a which I was embarking was the fish, will he for a fish give him a cause of God, nothing, but not serpent? or if he shall ask an egg, daring to act contrary to the plain will he give him a scorpion? If ye, dictates of my conscience, could then, being evil, know how to give have influenced me to make this sacrifice of my character, and bring upon myself so much scorn and contempt.

good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" Can any man sup5. To reason with our despisers pose, that after such repeated and upon their own principles: if I am continued pleading, of the express now fallen into enthusiasm, mis- promises of the Lord to this effect, take, and strong delusion; I cer-in earnest prayer, according to his tainly was, when I first set out in appointment, I should be delivered this inquiry, a very unlikely person up to the teaching of the father of so to do. My leading resolve was lies! Can any one make this conto search for the truth diligently, clusion without an evident insinuaand to embrace it wherever I found tion that God hath broken his proit, and whatever it might cost. No mises? In short, you may make a sooner had I begun the inquiry, jest of the Narrative; you may throw than I was called upon to give proof by the book without giving any atof the sincerity of this resolution; tention to an argument of this kind; and from a principle of conscience, you may say, what you never can though a mistaken one, I renounced prove, that it is all a contrived my prospect of an immediate pre-story; or you may argue, that these ferment; and it would be uncandid promises, though contained in the to question my sincerity after it had Bible, are not to be depended on by been thus evidenced. Since that us, which is to give up the Scriptime I have also deliberately sacri-tures to be scoffed at by Infidels and ficed my character, and hazarded Atheists, and to render them useless

to the humble anxious inquirer mitted to thee, as to what is needafter truth and salvation; but by ful for thy usefulness in the ministry, no other means, I am assured, can thou wouldst be brought in time to you account for this single circum- these same conclusions, whatever stance, without allowing, that the thy present religious sentiments substance of those doctrines, which may be. May the Lord give thee I have now embraced, is indeed true sincerity, and incline thine contained in the word of God; that heart to try the experiment! they comprise the truth as it is in I am aware that many will object Jesus, and are not corrupted with to what I have argued on this head, any such delusion as can hazard as being too confident; and as what the salvation of my soul, or the is urged by men of contrary relisouls of those who by my ministry gious sentiments, each in behalf of receive them. On this supposition his own system; and, as I could all difficulties vanish. The Lord not leave any material and plausihad given me a sincere desire to ble objection in force against what know the saving doctrine of the I have advanced, I hope the reader gospel; and though I was exceed-will excuse my obviating this beingly ignorant, obstinate, and pre- forehand. I would therefore enjudiced, yet this desire having, treat those who object to the confiaccording to his direction, led dence with which this argument is me to the word of God, and in- brought forward, impartially and fluenced me to seek his teaching carefully to consider the limitations by prayer, he was faithful to his with which on every hand it is guarded: own promises, and it was an exam- and then to inquire, whether in any ple of his own words, " Every one other way, than that which hath that asketh receiveth, and he that been mentioned, they can account seeketh findeth." My evident sin- for the fact. That is, supposing cerity in seeking the truth was this Narrative true (for which the sufficient to convince any person, appeal is to the heart-searching conversant and experienced in the God), and supposing the promises things of God, that, as my friend mentioned to be proposed to us, foretold, thither would all my in- that we may embrace them, depend quiries lead me; in that would they on them, and plead them in prayer, all finally centre. And could I be considering the glory of the divine assured, beloved reader, whoever veracity as concerned in their acthou art, that thou wast as sincerely complishment to every believer; desirous to know the truth as I then let them try whether they can was, and as heartily resolved to possibly evade one of these concluembrace it wherever thou mightest sions:-either God hath failed of find it, and whatever it should cost his promise;-or he hath, in the thee; had I also assurance that, in main, and as far as is expressed, a believing dependence on these led the author by his Holy Spirit promises, thou wast diligently, and to the knowledge and belief of the from day to day, in the study of the truth.-As to the confidence of men word of God in prayer, seeking the of opposite sentiments, I observe, accomplishment of them; I would that many who speak in high terms as confidently foretell, that, as to concerning sincerity and candour, those things which I now regard will, without hesitation, condemn, as essential to salvation, and, if as enthusiastical, such reliance on thou hast the souls of others com- the promises, and this way of search

ing for truth; and it is plain they who profess to be influenced by this do not seek truth in that manner sincere desire to know the truth, are which they condemn in others. not troubled with suspicions that Many others perhaps slightly men- they are or can be wrong. They tion these matters, but they will have made up their minds before not endure to be closely questioned: they begin the inquiry; and you for, being conscious that they have will not find them willing to make not sought the truth in this manner, the least concession, but, in the they evade such discourse as per- management of the controversy, sonal. Again, the writings of many resolved to vindicate and contend professed inquirers after truth evi- for every tittle; and where argudently show that they expect to ments fail, to make use of the other find it, not "by trusting in the Lord arts of controversy, with which skill with all their heart," or seeking it in the management of their weafrom the Scriptures, and by earnest pons, and anger against their oppoprayer for the teaching of the Holy nents, can supply them. Where a Spirit; but by " leaning to their cause is thus maintained, you may own understanding;" resting the easily know that there is none of argument on philosophical reason- that earnest desire of learning the ings, and the authority of this or truth, that anxious fear of mistaking that renowned name; and support- it, that self-diffidence, and those ing their conclusions by bold and doubts concerning the sentiments perplexing criticisms and interpre- held at present, which constitute tations of Scripture. Hence so many the godly sincerity that leads the daring appeals from revelation to inquirer to the word and Spirit of reason and philosophy! hence such God for direction and teaching. and so many objections, brought These things taken together, will, against doctrines plainly revealed on Scriptural grounds, cut off many in God's word, if language hath confident pretenders to sincerity any determinate meaning! and so from their claims, as entirely, as many consequences charged upon they exclude Annas and Caiaphas, these doctrines, with a design to and the chief priests, Scribes, and invalidate their divine authority; Pharisees, from being sincere inas if the appearance of unreason-quirers into the truth of the Old ableness, imposed by every disin- Testament; when in support of genuous art, were sufficient to prove their authority and reputation, and the plainest revelation of God's influenced by pride and anger, they, Holy Spirit a falsehood! Hence under colour of their law, put to such liberty in interpretation and death Him "of whom Moses and criticism on the word of God, as the prophets did write, even Jesus the learned would never endure in of Nazareth, the Son of God." And interpreting or criticising Virgil or as to men of another spirit, who Horace! These things prove that appear sincere, humble, and willing such persons are strangers to that to be taught of God in their inquiry earnest, hearty, sincere desire to after truth, but do not entirely know the truth, which brings the agree with what has been laid down, inquirer to an humble willingness I would only wish them to observe to be taught of God, and, in sub- the distinction established between mission of understanding, to seek some and others of these doctrines. wisdom from his word and Spirit. Such persons do not, I dare say, It is indeed most evident, that many materially differ from that which

has been mentioned as necessary to opposition to my natural temper. salvation: as, therefore, I allow Indeed at first I did in some inthem to have been in the main stances too much betray my impetaught of God, so I only require tuosity: but at that time I acted the same allowance. Let it be not in the character of an inquirer, supposed that the same God, who, but in full confidence that I was according to his promise, hath led pleading the cause of truth, and both, as far as is needful to salva- had no more thought of becoming tion, in the same way, has in other what the world call a Methodist, things left us to differ, for the mutual than of turning Mahometan. But exercise of candour and forbearance, after that first hurry was over, till that time when we shall know though commonly in earnest, and even as we are known." sometimes in considerable perturbaII. I would observe, that this tion of mind, I was outwardly calm change in my sentiments took place and satisfied; being generally enavery gradually. bled to believe that, if I were in

When any person suddenly any thing at present mistaken, I changes his religious opinions for should sometime be guided to the others very different from them, it truth. My determination to set is no inconsiderable evidence of a about this inquiry proceeded not so changeable and fickle disposition. much from anxious fears about my It gives cause to suspect that he own soul, as from a deep sense imwas not well established in his pressed upon my heart of the imformer sentiments; and that he had portance of my ministry, the worth taken them upon trust, and was a of the souls committed to my charge, stranger to the arguments by which and the awful account to be given they might be defended, and to the of them; and as I all along beobjections which might be urged stowed some pains in instructing against them. If worldly interest, my people in what I believed to reputation, or conveniency seem to be the truth, I was preserved from favour the change, there is room any discomposing fears or undue for a presumption, that these had disquietude of mind. I sat down an undue influence upon him: if very coolly to search for the truth; not, it may be insinuated that he I proceeded very gradually, and was deluded with specious appear- with extreme caution; I took no ances; that he did not allow him- one opinion upon trust; I gave up self time to weigh the arguments none of my sentiments until the on each side; and that he had only arguments by which I learned to changed one set of notions for ano- defend them were satisfactorily anther, without having duly consi-swered; nor did I admit any new dered either of them. Such objec- articles into my creed, till either tions may reasonably be made, and every objection was obviated, or I the consequences of precipitate was pressed on the other hand with changes too often justify them. But such as were still more unanswerthough I was always, and still am, able. Much, very much prayer and of a headlong impetuous spirit in meditation preceded every change other things, and when once I have of sentiment; and I was nearly purposed, can have no rest from three years, from the beginning of incessant agitation of mind, till I my inquiry, before I came to a deterhave accomplished my design; yet mination what was truth. So long, in this particular I acted in direct deliberately, and step by step, I

examined the premises, before I in which we differed; for as to finally proceeded to draw my con- these, my proud heart scorned to clusion. I perceive much cause to have him for a teacher.

be ashamed of my unteachable tem- At the same time, though I had per for with such opportunities as the offer of several books written were afforded me, if I had im- by Dissenters and Methodists, I deproved them, I might have attained clined it; and did not, for nearly to the knowledge and belief of the two years, peruse any of them with same truths in much less time. But sufficient attention to recollect any the Lord, I trust, led me in this thing of consequence which they way, and left me thus far to my contained. I say not this as slightown natural pride of heart; that it ing these books; for justice requires might more evidently appear that me to acknowledge, that many, I received not my doctrines from which then I ignorantly despised, man, but that indeed, in the first contain as solid, judicious, and exinstance, I learned them from the cellent divinity, as hath been penned word and Spirit of God. since the days of the apostles. But

III. I would observe, that I did not get my system from them; changed my religious views without for that was nearly complete before any teaching from the persons to I was prevailed upon to read them. whose sentiments I have now ac- My studies, besides the Bible, were ceded. For a considerable time chiefly confined to authors of allowed after the commencement of my in- reputation in the church of England, quiries, I would not so much as several of which I have mentioned. read what they had to urge in their When they differed from each other own behalf. I entered indeed into (as certainly Tillotson and Hooker, a correspondence with Mr. N.; my Jortin and Beveridge, Bull and Hall intention, however, was not to learn do differ very much indeed), I enfrom him, but to dispute with him; deavoured to judge for myself, comand when he waved controversy, I paring all of them with the word of dropped the correspondence, and God, and with the articles, homilies, utterly neglected his letters. From and liturgy of the Church of Engthat time I avoided his company, land; and from such authors thus and all the while I declined hearing compared, as far as the writings of him preach. I would not be under- uninspired men have been instrustood to insinuate, that Mr. N. has mental to this change, I have renot been useful to me: he has been, ceived the greatest part of my preand continues to be, eminently so; sent opinions. and I continually see great cause But let it be observed, that the to bless God for giving me such a further these streams are traced friend, to be so near at hand on all upward towards the fountain of the occasions. But this I assuredly blessed reformation, the purer they believe, that had I never seen him, flow, according to my present judgat least from the time that his ex-ment: and it may easily and undeample had put me upon considering niably be proved, that there is my conduct, I should have arrived nothing material preached by many at the same views of evangelical regular clergymen of the establishtruth which I now have. His use- ment, under the scandal of Methofulness to me has all along been in distical, which was not expressly those matters in which we were in taught by those excellent persons, some measure agreed, not in those who, having laid the foundation of