I

Delphinum fylvis appingit, fluctibus aprum. HOR.

SIR,

Have often read fatires, that have appeared to me to be panegyrics; and I have been frequently concerned to fee vindications publifh'd, that have left my mind in doubt, when I have read them, whether I was to confider what was before me, as intended to clear or afperfe the perfon to be defended. But nothing has puzzled me more than the conduct I have generally obferved in those, who would fhew their regard to a particular great man, whom they admire, by fixing up his head or portrait before their door, or sticking it up in different parts of their houses. The vilenefs of the daub, the place allotted to it, and the company it is affociated with, make the intention of the proprietor fo equivocal, that it is very hard to determine, whether he means to compliment, or infult, the great perfonage, in, his profeffion.

When I fee before the door of an alehouse, a HarpAlley daub of the king and queen (which might pass as well for the Little Carpenter and his Indian Squaw, if GEORGE and CHARLOTTE were not fubfcribed) I am forced to enquire whether the landlord is a loyal fubject to the king, or a NEWCASTLE man, before I can determine what is to be understood by the fign. And I could never settle to this day, whether the man in ButcherRow, or the tooth-drawer in Blood-bowl- Alley (who, in the year forty-five, put up a fign, that might as well pafs for the Saracen's-head, or the Red-Lyon at Brentford, as the half length of the DUKE OF CUMBERLAND, if it had not been for the D. C.) really were well-wishers to his royal highness, or not.

I was ever disgusted at the thoughts of blowing my nofe in his MAJESTY's face upon my handkerchief; and it lately went much against me to see a waiter throw two fhillings worth of hot rum and brandypunch over his SOVEREIGN at the bottom of the bowl. But I can scarce reflect, without the utmost confufion, that the QUEEN lay proftrate under me, for a whole night, at the bottom of a piece of Chelseachina in my bed-chamber, which I broke in the morning, as foon as I difcovered the indignity.

I could not help laughing, when, in one of my midnight rambles, I faw the twelve JUDGES among a parcel of thieves, chairmen, watchmen, and market-people, at the night-cellar near Temple-bar. The wife and learned gravity of these great lawyers, compared with the ftupid drunken figures out of the frames, afforded me much entertainment. I was also much diverted at feeing the ARCH-BISHOP's picture in Mrs. PHILLIPS's fhop in Half-moon-street; and, upon afking this useful old matron, why the ARCH-BISHOP was

fo great a favourite of her's? "He alway was, fays

fhe, for I ever thought him a good man." But I cannot understand what bufinefs the BISHOP of GLOUCESTER has among the fish-women at Billingsgate, or my LORD of CHESTER in fo many apartments of the Fews. Should my LORD CHANCELLOR be feen in Kitty Fifher's bed-chamber? or the DUKE of YORK at Haddock's Bagnio? And what has LORD LITTLETON to do at the Goat Alehouse in Cuckold's Point? or the EARL of HARDWICK at the three Blue Balls in St. Giles?

I am never surprised to fee his MAJESTY's picture at the house of an Antigallican, or my LORD BUTE's at the Hand in Hand Fire-office, or the Union Coffe-house, any more than I am to fee mr. GARRICK's at the Shakespeare, or at the Society of Arts, &c. But what must I fuppofe, when I fee the DUKE OF NEW

CASTLE,

CASTLE, among a parcel of old-caft off cloaths in Monmouth-freet, that never were worth a farthing in their beft days? Would any person think of looking for mr. Fox among the brokers at Jonathan's? Or expect to fee CHARLES TOWNSHEND at the Windmill near Hanover-fquare, or at the Weather-cock in Turn-Stile? SIR John Philips is naturally to be found at the RoyalOak, or at pro bono publico, ASHLEY'S ; but don't it feem exceedingly out of character, for a king to be seen among drunken prifoners in a fpunging-house? I am forry to fay, I have feen his prefent MAJESTY, in most of the jails within the bills of mortality: and I am confident the QUEEN would not be pleased, if she knew, in how many bad houses, in the neighbourhood of Covent-Garden, our moft gracious SOVEREIGN is to be seen every night, by the meaneft of his subjcts. I have been mortified with the fight of LADY NORTHUMBERLAND, in a wash-house, and the princefs AMELIA in a gin-fhop.

People have another way of puzzling me, befides the place in which they fix their picture or print; and that is, by the company they often pitch upon for their favourite. When I fee the picture of his prefent MAJESTY, with an ALFRED or EDWARD the THIRD its companion, I understand what is intended; but I am at a lofs, when I fee the king of PRUSSIA, the marquis of GRANBY, and lord GEORGE SACKVILLE, at the fign of the Gun. Nothing was clearer to me, than my friend's intention, who placed PITT between fir WILLIAM WYNDHAM and PULTENEY; but I was forced to afk an explanation, when I faw WALPOLE, PELHAM and NEWCASTLE, as he called them, together on the oppofite fide of the room. A child would think of running to a grocer's, or a chandler's fhop, for a fight of the prefent lord MAYOR; but nobody would look for him in mr. BEARDMORE'S Study, between DEMOSTHENES and TULLY. These

two

two great orators might receive honour from being grouped with a MANSFIELD or a PITT, but they would not, if they were alive, be able to hold a converfation with an Alderman of London, as they have no word, in either of their languages, for fugar-canes, melaffes, and rum-puncheons.

I am, Sir,

Your's &c.

WM. IRONSIDE.

The

CRI

REVENGE.

RIES CHLOE, when I preft a kifs
(A blifs which gods might seek)

Well-if you must then-here-on this,
And turn'd her lovely cheek.

When VENUS thus to CUPID faid,

(For both the nymph beheld) Shall lips which I for kiffing made, From kiffing be with-held!

This boon when next the youth shall seek,
Mark what attends this flip !

A blush fhall overfpread her cheek,
A pimple fwell her lip.

VOL. I.

The

The FAIR CALEDONIAN. A SON G.

TOW fweet are her looks, and how blooming her face,

How

Caledonia's cold clime ne'er produc'd fuch a grace!
O cease your rafh taunts, and forbear to upbraid
The clime, from whence iffu'd fo lovely a maid.

Tho' barren thy foil, and inclement thy air By nature; tho' nurs'd with a step-mother's care; Tho' Boreas infults thee, ne'er ceafing to blow; Tho' eternally crown'd thy bleak Alps are with fnow;

Tell Zephir, repos'd in his jeffamine bower, His wings never fann'd fo delightful a flower; Tell the fouth her broad fun, tho' for ever he fhine, Ne'er brought to perfection fuch rich fruit as thine.

Methinks the best produce the beft climate yields, When rival'd with thine, are the thrafh of the fields: O! I'd give 'em up all, were I bleft with the power, To tafte this rich fruit, and inbofom this flower.

Z.

LETTER from a young STUDENT to two LADIES who liv'd oppofite.

Fear it has not 'cap'd difcerning,

I am not half the man of learning,
Myfelf I lately boafted;

Not that to books I'm less attach'd,
Or that my wit is over-match'd,
Or folly over-roafted.

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