pending on that 'ere box." It need not, therefore, be stated, that it contained a large assortment of the choicest specimens of Hocus and Squills's skill, and that Fluffy Jack was commencing his first journey as a member of this distinguished circuit. No particular incident occurred till the course of his business took him to the good town of Northampton. On arriving at the Black Snake, he was received by his friend Mr Bobus, who had left London a day or two before him, and had been established in the coffee-room of that excellent hotel for about a week. "I'm so glad you're come," he said, shaking his hand. "I feel as if I had an immense deal more pluck already; but I'm afraid, after all, it's too late. The mother is strong against me." "It's just like them. I never could see the use of young girls having mothers at all: they're always so ridiculous. There was Poll Blewitt at Devizes-crikey! if a feller only looked at her, her old mother swore he was making love; and if you said but a word to her-told her it was a fine day, or some pleasant sort of speech of the kind-blowed if the old one wasn't down upon you for a breach of promise of marriage; and she had a son an attorney. And the consequence is, that Poll Blewitt might as well be deaf, for there ain't a feller as can venture to speak a syllable to her. I hates all mothers; and grandmothers is nearly as bad." "So you can give me no hope?" "Not a morsel of-saving that 'ere five hundred pounds. I'll have you buckled to her in a week, or my name ain't Jack Winnles." "Ah, that's always the way you talk; but you don't know half the difficulties of my position. I tell you, the mother is entirely on the side of that disgusting little fellow Mr Podgers; she's so fond, she says, of clever men." "And if she pleases herself, you think she'll marry you?" said Mr Winnles, putting his forefinger into the ribs of Mr Bobus, "eh, my fine feller? You can keep nothing secret from old Jack Winnles." Mr Bobus couldn't deny the soft impeachment, though, on reflection, he could perceive no great skill in divination displayed by his friend in making the discovery. "But are you sure of it?" enquired Mr Winnles-" No mistake? The girl would really marry you if she had her own way?" "She has told me so," said Mr Bobus modestly. "The deuce she has! Oho! Master Bobus, you ain't quite so shy as you make yourself out." "I assure you-'pon my word—I'm so easily put out-by old women especially "And who isn't, I should like to know? There ought to be a act of Parliament putting all old women to death. There's my grandmother-a rum old file" "Ah, but how are we to manage about getting Annie informed of our wishes?" 66 Why, you fool, I'm going to be quite intimate at the house-got letters to the old philosopher from Hocus and Squills;-I'm going to set 'em all asleep, and join all their broken bones, and make all their hairs grow-by George! you'll see if I don't do as I like in that house before a day's over." "But, Mr Podgers" "Oh-I'll stuff a box of pills down his throat that will stop his mouth for some time-never mind him. But come along-show me the way to old Lory's house, and leave the rest to me. So saying Mr Winnles proceeded along the main street of Northampton, and across a few fields, and along beautiful lanes, till he came to the pretty town of Dasnett, and was shown "Is she?" said Mr Winnles, draw- a great red brick house with a bright ing himself up. "She ain't such a green door and a wide flight of steps stupid old girl after all," and his feel--in short the best house in the town ings towards the respectable Mrs Lory were certainly softened; because he felt her predilection for clever men was a compliment to himself. "And what says the old wooden philosopher all this time?" "Very little; but he says he thinks Annie ought to be allowed to please herself." the residence of Mr Lory. Mr Bobus proceeded in the direction of the little river, to muse on the beauties of Annie Lory; and it happened, by an odd coincidence, that that young lady had chosen the same romantic locality for the scene of her medita. tions; and in a very short time there were two extremely happy young peo ple, lounging down by the winding current of the Dasnett, forgetting in a while every thing in the world but each other. In the mean time Mr Winnles had been shown into a small room well filled with books; and presented his credentials to a tall old man, with a very bald head, and a most solemn puritanical expression of coun. tenance- -no less an individual, in short, than the celebrated Mr Lory himself. "I am happy to see you," he said, handing a chair to his visiter. "Mr Squills informs me that you are char. ged with some most interesting secrets on the subject of his new discovery. You could not have come at a more fortunate moment, for I am just preparing a lecture for our Scientific Institution, on the effect of mysterious agencies in health and disease." "You're uncommon civil, I do declare," replied Mr Winnles; "and if you would allow me to recommend you half a dozen boxes of our Everlasting Capillaries, I'm hanged if it wouldn't add twenty per cent to your personal appearance. I never saw any body so bald in my life." "You're very good, sir," said Mr Lory, looking somewhat surprised at his new acquaintance. "Oh, don't mention it-they're dirt cheap, and three months tick to a friend like you; your mother wouldn't know you in a week. Don't you see how thick thatched I am?"-He went on showing his umbrageous curls. "It's all owing to the Capillaries. Hair would never grow on my head at all, till about three weeks ago I luckily fell in with this wonderful discovery. P'raps old Squills has written you an account of it-'pon my word I'm afraid it will be a losing concern for me after all; for old grandmother has left me an uncommon sight of money in her will, and cuss me if I know how to prove I'm the same feller. No one would know me again; so unless I shave my head, I run a good chance of missing the legacy." "It won't be quite so bad, I hope," replied Mr Lory, with a smile; "at the same time the preparation must be of extraordinary merit: is it one of Mr Squills's own invention? He's a most talented man-a very talented man indeed." "He's up to a great many things, there's no doubt of that," said Mr Winnles; "and for such a little eater "I only dined with him once, andbut, Lord! I'm forgetting the reason of my having such a capital_twist. It's all owing to old Hocus's Gastric Diluents; they're such extraordinary things-them pills is that you wouldn't believe what they've done for me. I'm hanged if I didn't live till I was twenty-one, on less than an ounce a-day. I've lived a fortnight on a single onion-never was seen such a miserable object-they nearly put me into Reading jail because I didn't eat any thing for six monthsbut the moment I tasted the Diluents, nothing could stand before me. I can eat a round of beef at two sittings, and when I've taken six or seven of the pills, I think no more of swallowing a brick, by George! than if it was a quartern loaf. I once ate a milestone at three meals, for a wager-a devilish tough joint of meat I found it; but the Diluents would make a man get fat on tenpenny nails." Mr Lory took another look at the brazen face of the unabashed Mr Winnles. "Sir," he said, "I make it a point to believe in the possibility of all things, and I see nothing incredible in the statement you make, as I believe that science will be able to do more extraordinary things than to make substantial food out of milestones; but at the same time, I never knew a gentleman who united in his own person the experiences you now mention." "That ain't half of them; I haven't told you yet about grandmother's fall off the top of an immense high house; she certainly is one of the wonderfullest old women, that grandmother She broke of mine, that ever was. every bone in her body, and was actually picked up by the people that saw her fall, in two or three pieces; blow'd if two bottles of Ginger's Concentrated Essential Bone-setting Drops didn't make her so young again, that there's a strong report in Windsley she's going to be married." "Mr Squills has only mentioned to me that you will call on me, and do me the favour to show me a specimen of his invention for producing instantaneous repose. If you will come this evening and drink tea with us at halfpast six, I will introduce you to Mr Podgers-a talented man, and quite a philosopher-who will help me to judge of the merits of the system. Will you join us at that hour? "To be sure; I think it's a capital way of passing the evening drinking tea, with a little cold meat and a loaf or two, till supper-time. I shall be most happy."-And after a few more observations on subjects connected with his remedies, he left Mr Lory no little astonished at the extraordinary effects produced on a single individual by so many invaluable specifics. Mr Winnles was fortunate enough to fall in with his friend, Mr Bobus, before he had proceeded far on his way home. A very quick-eyed observer might have perceived a brown silk pelisse at no great distance, on the other side of the hedge-a brown silk pelisse, a dark grey bonnet, and a bright white parasol-but Fluffy Jack was so absorbed in the triumphs he had just achieved, that he had no eyes, and very little ears, for any thing but him self. "I don't intend to ask it. You say you've got the girl's, and that's enough. Give her a hint that perhaps she'll have to ge on a journey to-night-that's all." "My dear friend, I'm very much indebted" "Five hundred-that's the whole amount; but if you like to throw in an odd fifty, I can answer for my friend Jack Winnles, that he'll not refuse. I advise you to be on the lookout at the door, or in the house itself, if you can manage it, at about half past seven to night.-So, no more at present but remains"- -as people say at the end of a letter. And as Mr Bobus saw he might leave his patron to find his way into Northampton by himself, and retained a distinct impression of having seen a bright white parasol waved to and fro mysteriously a few minutes before, he sprang over the hedge and was speedily lost to view. Mr Winnles continued his walk, immersed in deep reflection, and resolved to apply to the waiter that evening to get some clever scholar to indite an epistle containing an account of his proceedings to Messrs Hocus and Squills. He astonished several parties in the coffeeroom-for, at the Black Snake, there is no room consecrated to the gentlemen of our profession-by swallowing a few of the miraculous Diluents, and demolishing an unheard-of quantity of viands, solely in consequence of their stomachic virtues. It is probable, also, that it was to their influence he owed the power of swallowing a prodigious number of tumblers of coldwithout; for it was difficult to believe that any unassisted appetite was capable of such extraordinary performances. By half-past five his labours were finished, his apparatus carefully deposited in a brown paper parcel under his arm, and once more he took his way across the fields, and in due time arrived at the house of Mr Lory. That gentleman received him with the utmost politeness, and presented him to his wife, an old lady, with a prodigiously thin and prominent nose, piercing eyes, and firmly compressed lips; a countenance of the most determined expression, which an ingenious modeller might have taken a hint from, for the design of a vinegar cruet. After her, he was introduced to Miss Lory, a handsome dark-eyed girl, but on this peculiar occasion suffused with blushes, and looking so conscious, that the modesty of Mr Winnles immediately concluded she was captivated at first sight. Various thoughts occurred to him as this idea entered his mind; but on the whole, a love for the five hundred in hard cash predominated over the chance of five thousand, with the addition of the young lady herself. He was next introduced, in a very marked manner, to Mr Podgers, a fat young man, with a very shabby blue coat buttoned tight across his chest; a red nose and very little eyes, with a constant habit of turning them up to the ceiling; blue trowsers, a great deal too short, revealing a considerable expanse of grey worsted stockings, and his feet shrouded in a pair of large muddy shoes: altogether, one of those distin 1 guished literary characters, who consider that their genius sets them above the necessity of paying any attention to their external appearance. "How do, sir? how do?" said Mr Winnles, holding out his hand to Mr Podgers-"'pon my word I'm glad to see you-I'm so fond of talented people.' "Sir, your address constitutes you at once in my mind an appreciator of the excellent and the true, than which no nobler philosophic character ever emanated from the Porch of Zeno, or the Groves of Academe." "Beautiful!" said Mrs Lory, in a voice that was meant to be a very au. dible whisper. "Annie, attend to what Mr Podgers is saying, it's perfect eloquence." "Is it, mamma ?-Oh!-I'm no judge of eloquence." It appeared, however, from the peculiar look she bestowed on the subject of their remarks, that she was a very good judge of ugly faces and dirty clothes. "Ah, all that's very fine," said Mr Winnles, in answer of Mr Podgers's compliment; " but I'll tell you what, I recommend you just a single box of our celebrated Pimplefuge pills-it would take off all them horrid blotches from your face in a week; and, upon my soul, you wouldn't be a very ugly fellow. The price is only 7s. 6d." "Sir, the personality of your observations is indicative of a lower order of intellect than that for which I at first had given you credit," said Mr Podgers, looking very irate. "Credit be hanged!" rejoined Mr Winnles," ready money only, and no abatement, that's the only way of doing business; but really, now, them pills is extraordinary-they wash a fellow's face as clean as if they were nothing but soap; and the only draw back is, that they're so wonderful searching, that they might p'raps make a mistake about that little red snout of a nose of yours, and think it a pimple; and if they did, by crikey! they would walk off with it and leave nothink for a feller to pull, if he happened to quarrel with you; which would be a misfortune to both parties -wouldn't it, Mr Lory?" "Your style of conversation is very unusual-not to say startling," replied the old gentleman, "and I cannot feel astonished at Mr Podgers being a little offended at the nature of your allusions. Perhaps, however, it is a misapprehension on our parts, and no offence is intended." "Not a morsel of offence," said Mr Winnles, "all in friendship and the way of trade. The pills are really wonderful, and would do him a deal of good." "Sir," said the philosophic poet of the Dasnett Star, "I accept your apology in the fine relishing spirit of frankness with which it is offered. The heart that is harmonized by the soft influences of a benignant soul-elevating philanthropy, is ever the first to shake off-like dew-drops from the lion's mane-the stern impulses of wrath and irritation. Love, the founder of the beautiful-the softener of the rough-the balm-distiller— covers with its placid wing the passions that have been lulled to sleep by the music of philosophy; and, therefore, sir, anger, which found a momentary refuge in my bosom, is dissipated in the circumambient air, and again I am a man glowing with affection to my brother men." "By crickey! he speaks like a coracle!" said Mr Winnles, captivated by the eloquence of the philanthropist ; while Mrs Lory cast up her eyes in a rhapsody of admiration, "Oh, Annie, it's a perfect treat to listen to such language-I really sometimes think he is inspired." But Mr Lory seemed amazingly relieved at this period of the conversation by the introduction of tea. The party seated themselves round the table, and after seeing Mr Winnles carefully help himself to a couple of the gastric Diluents, and hearing him enlarge in the most impassioned manner on their effects, were prodigiously edified by watching the havoc he committed on the bread and butter. His efforts were almost superhuman; and on the strength of that one single exhibition he disposed of a great number of boxes. But even his great powers of mastication could not last for ever, and with an effort which apparently cost him some pain, he confessed he could eat no more, and the table was cleared. When they were left free to enter on the business of the evening, Mr Lory commenced by asking a few questions with regard to the principle of the new discovery. "Mr Squills has partly explained to me the method of proceeding; but I confess I am still at a loss to understand the cause of such marvellous effects." "It's the easiest thing in the world," said Mr Winnles; "you fall asleep in about five minutes, because you can't possibly keep awake; and that, I take it, is the best reason that can be given." "Yet I've heard of great things, in cases of restlessness, being done by the pole of the magnet-you've heard of it, Mr Podgers?" "I had it once applied to my breast, sir, by a very scientific practitioner; and the effects were certainly wonderful,” replied the poet. "Oh, what were they? Do tell us all about it," said Mrs Lory. "Now Annie, attend-he is going to be intense." But Annie seemed to be thinking of something else, for she did not answer her mother. "I felt my thoughts so oddly mixed up, that the real melted imperceptibly into the ideal; the dim, the awful, the mysterious rose like grave-yard exhalations, and darkened the whole heaven of my existence. In the gloom, monstrous figures fixed themselves indelibly on the stormy background of that lurid sky. I felt strange tremors come over me, as if the vast was spreading a numbness, and the illimitable was fading off into the dismal and the profound; but the pains in my chest were certainly relieved, and the operator replaced the pole of the magnet in his waistcoat pocket, and recalled me by a touch of his hand to the world of every-day life." Crikey! he must have been as big as a mountain, and had a waistcoat the size of a meadow, if he put the pole of the Magnet into his pocket. Do you mean to make us believe that ?-by George, I'll give you a letter to Hocus and Squills-they're the boys for touching up a story.' 66 My dear sir" said Mr Lory"you must surely be aware of the extraordinary uses of the pole of the magnet." "To be sure I am-it's to keep the coach steady, and hook on the crossbar. Do you think I've had my eyes shut all my journey down-or don't know the pole of a coach from a toothpick? But never mind this little feller with his fine words-I can't make him out more than if he spoke French or Greek, or any other of the dead languages-look at this here." So saying, he undid the brown paper parcel, and displayed to the wonderstruck party three or four of the little instruments shaped like compasses, with an ivory knob on the top, which Mr Squills had furnished him with in London. "Them's the apparatuses!-cuss your poles of coaches!" "And how do you apply them?”— enquired Mr Lory. "Why you open the legs of them, and set them astraddle a-top of your nose; then you look with all your might at the little white ball, and in a minute or two you'll be sound asleep." "Is the sleep sound? I thought it had some preternatural effects similar to those of animal magnetism." "Beats 'em hollow-a feller as is put to sleep by this wonderful instrument, knows every thing. He can even tell you all that ever happened to any body you like to name; he can tell all that's going to happen; in fact, it's a thing that makes a man a reg'lar witch.' 19 "Extraordinary!" exclaimed Mr Lory. "It will be a fine subject for a lecture, Mr Podgers." "With quotations from the poetsand an analysis of its natural causes," replied that gentleman-" Who can predicate any thing of the secret sympathies that may pervade the whole system of existence of which we form a part? Who can say whether the electric chain being touched in the remotest quarter of space, does not cause a vibration for which we find it impossible to account in our own most secret souls? It may be that the intense volition of some Abyssinian king sitting on a great rock amid the Mountains of the Moon, may be exercising, by the power of sympathy, a mysterious influence on my whole being at this very hour. Oh, the high truths of nature, what are they but stepping-stones by which, by pain and toil, we work our way up the steep mountains of science, till we ascend into the pure, the infinite?" "Oh Annie, isn't that beautiful?" said Mrs Lory to her daughter. That's what I call the dreadfullest gammon I ever heard," exclaimed Mr Winnles, who did not like that any one should interfere with his experiments with disquisitions that gave such im. mense satisfaction to the old lady. "Now, I'll just ask you, Mr Podgers, to shut that mouth of yours, and go with me into the study. The rest of the party will put these little machines on in the mean time, and a few minutes will convince you of all I've said-by |