2. The rewriting of the following, which is an extract from an oration, will give occasion to note not only how in various ways the expression may be enlivened, but also what means may be taken to enlarge and enrich the thought, make one part prepare for another, and the like.

b

As persons who are studying (49) the best literature, you are coming into relationship (45, 63) with kings a of the earth. You know whom I mean by kings. They are the men who write the great poems (55), histories (55), works of fiction (55), essays (54); men who explore the secrets (69) of thought or rise (63)d to heights of imagination; men who find (61) f in life and character and nature those truths which are best (46, 61) for mankind. Your education brings you into the company of these. They talk with you; they give to k you of the very best which (58) they have; they never chide1 you for being ignorant, but encourage you continually to make them your friends. Thus they make themselves kings of your mind." This is (66) what it truly is to be a king. No other kind of monarch could (66) rule so kindly and royally, so powerfully and intimately (69).o The only real king is the king of the heart; and none (66) can find a place P so welcome a as those whose words inspire you.r

As disciples of these you are their subjects. But (69) t . . . the glory" of their sovereignty is that they make their subjects free (69). You are glad to follow them; their service is your highest choice. In responding to their words, in accepting their w ideals, you are emancipated (45) from many a petty prejudice (55), narrow view (55), vulgar usage; you are thinking new thoughts, living in a new world, in which (58) life is (69) * nobility. For you follow the king (69) as members of the royal household, where you can hear his words. Whatever is in his mind aa you are privileged to receive into yours; nay,b you are heirs of his royalty, just as far as your life has capacity for kingliness,

y

This is typified, in some sense,cc in the name which (58) we give to any education which (35, 58) passes the limits of the common school. We call it a liberal education; and that word liberal, you know, is derived (45) dd from the Latin liber, free. I suppose it used to be the education of a freeman (50),ee as distinguished from the education ff of the toiling and servant class. But in these days when education is diffused (49, 57), while no one is exempt from the law of work, no one is under the necessity of being (49) a slave. The great books of the ages are (49) hh accessible everywhere and to everyone, and (49) have power to set the mind free; they make a liberal education kk available to all. Surely then you will not (66) be

mm when you can read the You will not (66)

00

confined (63) " to little reports (46) ' works of (63) Homer and Isaiah and Milton. feed (63) nn your mind on newspapers (46) 00 when you can study the books of (63) Pp Shakespeare and Bacon, Wordsworth and Tennyson. These are your true kings, the directors of your liberal education, whose companionship at once enriches the world in which you are moving and creates a deeper world within.

NOTES TO THE ABOVE. It will be noted that the whole piece is conceived as a metaphor; it is in a figure that we are regarded as following kings or as being subjects. One great part of the life or the style is to keep our idea constant and consistent in this figurative way of looking at the subject.

66

a. If only the word “kings” is used there may be danger of misleading the reader as if you meant a literal king; you will better it therefore by adding an unfigurative phrase, "and great ones." - b. Put the longer term last, and note the effect of climax. c. Choose a figurative word, e. g. 'depths," to make antithesis with the word "heights" succeeding.—d. Use a more striking word for rising to heights of imagination, e. g. "soar." e. Sharpen the antithesis by an epithet which may be read at once as literal and figurative, e. g. "lofty." - f. Put exacter and more sonorous word, e. g. "discern,” . g. Use more specific word, e. g. "salutary." h. Introduce words that indicate how salutary for mankind, e. g. “for the guidance and elevation of mankind.” — i. Introduce an epithet that shall remind the reader you are talking of kings, e. g. "august.". j. The verbs of this sentence are suitable to the idea of our being in their company.

--

k. Omit

or

v. Put in antithesis to bring

"to "for rapidity, — 1. Enlarge the thought by adding another word, reproach." m. Kings who are friends are also guides; indicate this by adding "and counsellors,”- u. The mind indicates only a part of the man; add "and heart."— o. Group the four adverbs so as to make two antithetic pairs, e. g. "kindly yet powerfully, royally yet," etc. - p. Indicate where : "in your heart," and you thus use the thought of the previous clause. q. How would it sound to put another word indicating your affection, e. g. "warm and welcome? r. This is not full enough; add, "whose rich experiences are at your service to guide you." -s. You are more than disciples, you are also followers; indicate it. t. Make an antithesis to what is coming: "But you are not their slaves. The," etc. - u. Add epithet, indicating highest glory, e. g. "crowning." out "free" e. g. "not bound but." w. Put in epithets to give effect to words and ideals, e. g. "glowing words," "lofty ideals.”. -x. Use antithesis to set off "nobility," e. g. "not abasement but." —y. Prepare for this also by antithetic thought, e. g. "not afar, as if you were dwellers in some remote province, but." z. The thought is not full and suggestive enough; add "and share in his thoughts.". aa. Add epithet suggesting how far his mind is above yours, e. g. “great." bb. The word "nay" strengthens CC. "In some sense" is necessary, because it is not the primary suggestion of the word liberal to typify that. — dd. Best to use short and simple word here, "comes."— ee. Put it so that "freeman" will stand as near to "free," in previous sentence, as good English will allow. ff. Think a moment, and you will realize that the servant class had no education in the times here contemplated; add, "or rather no-education,” gg. We might have said "of a slave" here, as antithetic to "freeman," but this longer term is used so as to reserve the word slave for the end of the next sentence, where it will be more effective. hh. Subordinate so as to give emphasis to "have power." ii. Omit "the."

the clause it introduces.

jj. They set free more than mind; add “and imagination.” — kk. Not what we call a liberal education; you need therefore to add "in reality if not in name." — ll. Put the most suggestive and strong word possible here, e. g. "cramped."mm. "the gossip of the day.". - nn. Another trope will greatly enrich the suggestiveness; say "starve." oo. Make explicit by selecting the unedifying parts of newspapers; e. g. "markets and sports and crimes." pp. Recur to the idea of companionship: "talk with." qq. Notice that "kings" and "liberal education" virtually sum up what has been said by directing our thought to the leading ideas of preceding paragraphs. This is useful by way of conclusion. 1

1 The author is aware that the above directions virtually recommend his own individual style; but no other way to his purpose seemed open.

3. Work out the following problems.

Find imitative words for the following: to walk slowly; to walk in a haughty manner; to speak in the feeble voice of the aged; to utter loud and boisterous sounds; a confused crowd and rush; to fasten eyes on an object; a struggling combat or contention; the barking of hounds.

Find metaphors or tropes to express the following: a successful record; the results of long activity; a word that has been used by everybody; to take a text away from its context; the context; ridge of a line of hills.

Point out the metaphors of the following, and tell how each conceives its object: "But all Burns's qualities are on the great scale. Look at his humor. This laughter is no crackling of thorns under a pot, but a sheer blazing and roaring of piledup faggots of fun. It is the very riot and revelry of mirth; there is something demoniacal about this hilarity. Even the coarseness that goes with it hardly offends us, it is so manifestly and naturally of a piece with the utter license and abandonment which this lord of literary misrule has for the nonce decreed."

V. SMOOTHNESS.

Not the most important quality of style, and therefore not to be sought at the sacrifice of something better, but still a very important quality, is smoothness. It is in general the quality the need of which becomes apparent when the writer reads his work aloud; and, indeed, scarcely any advice can be of more constant importance than the advice to read your work aloud as you go along, listening to it carefully, and thus submitting it at every step to the test of the ear.

I.

Rules promotive of Smoothness. The main things on which attention must be concentrated are, repetitions of similar sounds; combinations hard to pronounce; and the way accented or unaccented syllables succeed each other.

70. Have choice of synonymous words for repeated ideas.

Many of the ideas in every composition have to be repeated; in the very act of presenting their various parts and aspects the words that designate them have to recur again and again. To repeat the identical word over and over produces a very crude and awkward effect.

ILLUSTRATION.

To say, "This is a very painful circumstance; a circumstance that I much regret; and all who hear of it will, I am sure, regret that such a circumstance should have occurred," - makes the reader think at once that the writer was either very poor in words or very indifferent to grace of expression. Doubtless synonyms near enough to serve his purpose are at hand; he might say, for instance, "This is a very painful circumstance; one that I much regret; and all who hear of it will, I am sure, be sorry that such a thing should have occurred."

A caution, however, is necessary here. "The repetition of the same meaning in slightly different words is a worse fault than the repetition of the same word." 1 Such repetition marking time without advancing, as it were -is called Tautology.

NOTE. Thus, to have made the above sentence read, "This is a very painful event; a circumstance that I much regret; and all who

1 Abbott, How to Write Clearly, p. 40. The above example is taken from Abbott, but slightly varied to suit the present purpose better. The correction is made merely for the fault in question, not to get an elegant

sentence.