Clear or Obscure Nouns, Verbs, etc. There is no part of speech which may not be so used as to make a sentence obscure. I. He looked for something on the floor of the car until (or, so long that) at last all the passengers were leaning over in order to see what he was looking for. II. He looked for something on the floor of the car, until the whole 1 car was leaning over endeavoring to discover the object of his search. It was the persons in the car, not "the car," that leaned over. I. While he is asleep, the Lilliputians discover him and bind him with numberless fine threads. II. While asleep the Lilliputians discover him and bind him with numberless fine threads. In the sentence as originally written, "asleep" goes grammatically with "the Lilliputians" but really with "him." The fault is akin to that already noticed." I. Though badly written, the book will not fail of (or, will secure) a permanent place in literature. II. The book will not fail of a permanent place in literature, because it is badly written. This sentence as originally written leaves the reader in doubt whether the book is to have a permanent place in consequence, or in spite, of the fact that it is badly written. I. I confess that I did not applaud him, for I (or, him; I) was carried away for the moment. Carried away as I was for the moment, I confess that I did not applaud him. II. I confess that I did not applaud him because I was carried away for the moment. "For," though less ambiguous than "because," is not quite clear. The obscurity is removed altogether by the omission of any connective, or by a change in order. I. He went to Holland, the country to which his father had just been appointed minister from the United States. II. He went to Holland where his father had just been appointed minister from the United States. The sentence as originally written leads one to believe that the appointment was made in Holland. I. They have sacrificed themselves to theses and examinations; they have given up the large leisure which they might have devoted to tranquil and abundant study. II. They have sacrificed themselves to theses and examinations; they have given up their large leisure for tranquil and abundant study. The sentence as originally written leaves the reader in doubt whether they gave up that leisure which enabled them to study, or whether they gave up leisure in order to study. I. Wordsworth's sonnet to Toussaint l'Ouverture I admire very much as a whole, in spite of the phrase "deep dungeon's earless den." II. In Wordsworth's sonnet to Toussaint l'Ouverture, although I admire it very much, as a whole, he makes use of the phrase deep dungeon's earless den. This sentence as originally written does not express the writer's meaning. SECTION III. CLEARNESS AS AFFECTED BY NUMBER OF WORDS SENTENCES may be deficient in clearness because they contain too few words, or because they contain too many. Omitted Nouns. Obscurity is sometimes caused by the omission of a noun, either alone or with other words necessary to the construction. I. I'll leave a prescription for a mixture to rub her with. The crime was held in such horror that few ever risked the consequences of detection. He rarely used the elevator till toward the end of his life. So on and on we went, splashing into basins for fun, and consoling ourselves with the thought that it would be easy to bring up the canoe next day. II. I'll leave a prescription to rub her with. The crime was held in such horror that few ever risked the consequences. He rarely used the elevator till toward the end. So on and on we went splashing into basins for the fun of it, and consoling ourselves it would be easy to bring up the canoe the next day. The fault of trying to make "that useful article " stand for "sago" is akin to that already noticed.1 Omitted Pronouns. Obscurity is sometimes caused by the omission of a pronoun, either alone or with other words necessary to the construction. I. The effect was the same as that which one gets with the stereo scope. There is a difference between the duties of a native and those of a stranger. "There is no difference," said the elm, "between the sap in our trunks and that in the other trees of the forest." Those whose faith or whose fanaticism led them to believe themselves soldiers of the Almighty, and who in that dread enlistment feared nothing but to be found unworthy of their calling, they were gone (or, call ing, were gone). When she met him, he treated her as coldly as he did (or, as did) the others who were there. II. The effect was the same as one gets in the stereoscope. There is a difference between the duties of a native and a stranger. "There is no difference," said the elm, "between the sap in our trunks and the other trees of the forest." Those whose faith or whose fanaticism led them to believe themselves soldiers of the Almighty, and in that dread enlistment feared nothing but to be found unworthy of their calling, they were gone. When she met him he treated her as coldly as the rest of the people who were there. In the absence of the context, the last sentence, as originally written, admits two interpretations. 1 See page 214. Omitted Verbs. Obscurity is sometimes caused by the omission of a verb, either alone or with other words necessary to the construction. I. With all his exuberance of spirits, he was far from being the rake the world imagined. I imagine that a lighted city seen from above would hardly seem a city. There were but two or three rooms that were habitable, and these were very poorly furnished. He was not cleanly in his person, and was notorious for his blunders. Between Roman Catholics and Protestants there is little hostility, and sometimes there is co-operation for a benevolent purpose. The dog, feeling doubtless that he was a culprit for running away, submitted to the blows without making the least resistance. The scenes and incidents of a child's story should be only such as occur in the experience of a child, or such as come easily within the scope of his imagination (or, as he can easily imagine). At last he got out of the car and left (or, car, leaving) the suspicious-looking white package on the seat. Other Sins of Omission. II. With all his exuberance of spirits, he was far from the rake the world imagined. I imagine a lighted city, from above, would hardly seem a city. There were but two or three rooms habitable and very poorly furnished. He was not cleanly in his person and notorious for his blunders. Between Roman Catholics and Protestants there is little hostility and sometimes co-operation for a benevolent purpose. The dog submitted to the blows without the least resistance, feeling doubtless a culprit for running away. The scenes and incidents of a child's story should be only those that can be duplicated in a child's experience, or easily within the scope of their imagination. He finally left the car and the suspicious-looking white package on the seat. Obscurity is sometimes caused by the omission of an adverb, a preposition, or a conjunc tion, either alone or with other words necessary to the construction, or of a phrase consisting of several words. |