In the last sentence as originally written, the least important of the three facts spoken of, - the fact that "he harnessed his horse with his own hands," - is made as prominent as the fact that "he took me through the town," and much more prominent than the most impor tant of the three, the fact of his "introducing me to the prominent Republicans." Other examples are I. Maddened by the cut he had received, Hero threw himself with a terrific growl on the buzzing saw, as if he meant to hug it. Driven almost to despair by the sale of her library, Romola started to leave Tito. Frightened at my novel-reading propensities, I resolved not to look into a novel for a year. Having succeeded in obtaining the living which Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine, had offered him, the Rev. Mr. Collins was full of gratitude to his benefactress and admiration of her. II. The cut he received angered him and with a terrific growl Hero threw himself upon the buzzing saw, as if to hug it. Romola was driven almost to despair by the sale of her library, and started to leave Tito. I was frightened at my novelreading propensities and I resolved not to look into a novel for a year.1 Mr. Collins had succeeded in obtaining the living which Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine, had offered to her rector, and so the Rev. Mr. Collins was filled with gratitude to and admiration of his benefactress. The weak construction with "and" is the most common form of a common fault, but it is not the only form. In this sentence as originally written "but" is misused, as "and" was in the preceding examples. 1 See page 214. I. As I was hurrying down School Street, an excited crowd attracted my attention. II. I was hurrying down School Street when an excited crowd attracted my attention. This sentence as originally written lays too much stress on the fact that "I was hurrying down School Street,” and not enough on the more important fact mentioned in the second clause. Dangling Participles. Weak writers often misuse participial phrases. I. Turning down the shawl, she disclosed a baby's face. II. She turned the shawl down revealing a baby's face. In this sentence as originally written, "revealing a baby's face" hangs loose in the sentence. "Revealing" is — to borrow an apt expression - a "dangling participle." Other examples are I. The hero is a Scottish youth who has come to France to seek his fortune. On this land Elizabeth founded a town which she at first called Calumet, an Indian name, and afterwards Taunton. II. The hero is a Scottish youth, having come to France to seek his fortune. On this land Elizabeth founded a town, calling it at first by the Indian name Calumet, and changing that name later to Taunton.1 Active or Passive. — It is sometimes a question whether to put the principal verb of a sentence in the active or the passive voice. I. Now one could see that change which the features of a wood undergo at the ingress of the winter months. II. Now could be beheld that change which the features of a wood undergo at the ingress of the winter months. 1 See page 217. I. This exhibition brought him before the public. The husband of the deceased and her two sons survive her. If the Corporation of Carlingford had not done all that they Icould have done to show their respect, they would have been sorry. II. By this exhibition he was placed before the public. The deceased is survived by her husband and two sons. If anything more could have been done to show their respect which was not done, the corporation of Carlingford would have been sorry for it. In these examples, the change from the passive to the active voice gives life to the sentence. I. The newspapers will say that congratulations on your engagement are showering upon you. II. The newspapers will say that congratulations on your engagement are being showered upon you. "Showering" is more forcible than "being showered." Passive forms like those given under II. have recently — perhaps within a century come into common use. They have been stigmatized as bad English; but they are to be found in the works of good authors, and they are sometimes conducive to clearness. When, however, as in the examples given above, active forms can be used without creating obscurity, they are preferable to passive forms because more forcible and less clumsy. I am concerned to find myself obliged, at the opening of this Parliament, to acquaint you that a dangerous conspiracy has been for some time formed, and is still carrying on, against my person and government, in favour of a Popish pretender. - From a Speech by GEORGE III. Tea was carrying round, and Mr. Weston, having said all that he wanted, soon took the opportunity of walking away. — JANE AUSTEN. The sun had passed his meridian by many hours, the service was performing in the choir, and a few persons entering by the door into that part of the Abbey Church which is so well known by the name of Poets' Corner, proceeded through the unseemly stockade which the chapter have erected, and took their seats. - LORD BEACONS FIELD. Now, as it happened, at his sister's house - Duchess herself - indeed the very spouse "Carrying on," "carrying round," "performing," and "drawing," as used in these examples, though more forcible than "being carried on," etc., are now antiquated; but similar expressions-e. g., "Money is coming in," "A flirtation is going on," "Tea is going round," "The book is still selling," "Violins were playing," "A very good business is doing now are still in good use. I. I am now being tutored (or, working under a tutor) for my examinations. II. I am tutoring new for my examinations. In this sentence as originally written, "tutoring" is objectionable, not only because it is a piece of college slang, but also because it is ambiguous. The boy who says that he is "tutoring" is usually the boy who most needs to be tutored. "Being tutored," on the other hand, is clumsy. SECTION III. FORCE AS AFFECTED BY NUMBER OF WORDS Too Many Words. As has already been remarked, every word that does not help a reader to get at the meaning of a sentence hinders him by wasting his time and his strength. Wordiness is, then, indirectly an offence against clearness; but it is a still more serious offence against force. It weakens even more than it obscures. A style that is diffuse cannot have force. I. On the other hand, we must admit his sanity. The property remains intact. He was a bright, sober, manly little fellow, and a universal favorite (or, a favorite with us all.) We will hear him to the end (or, him out). We enjoy the story until we come to the sad dénouement. To permit two words to retain the same meaning is a waste. The debate was not so unprofitable as such discussion generally is. II. But, on the other hand, we must admit his sanity. The property remains intact and uninjured. He was a bright, sober, manly little fellow and a universal favorite with us all. We will hear him out to the end. We enjoy the story until we come to the sad denouement in the end. To permit two words to retain precisely the same signification is a waste that cannot be afforded. The debate was not so unprofitable as most of such discussion generally is. |